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a little more... personal
"@@, you make my life complete," was too big a claim in @@'s spirit, as least to my personal opinions. The notorious, top-notched' institution provided materials to benefit herself. She wants to lead the bring glory to herself, wait a minute. Or is it he and for himself instead? He who, him who. Our infamously ingenius principal. Am I saying that's bad and wrong of him for all that he's done? Nope, he did bring fame, recognition and I truly salute him for what he had done. How many would have envisioned a neighbourhood college gaining a top-college limelight.
If you were me.
But the means he goes about to achieve what he has done, I don't agree and grateful(and thus far from what i know, he dont care what i think). No student's rights, crazy rules on hair, policies he make that redefine others' life in matters of seconds with impact of a catastrophe. Many a times do I hear from people who are more skilled in dealing with him, "He's not your usual principal, he's a businessman-cum-principal(I stress the order i present to you.)". I'm saying he's going at the expense of my, our, their, the countries' lives. Yes, he only sets general directions and allow people to run on those tracks, but the paths are so narrow, only the "nice" ones get the opportunity. To be a outstanding Student Leader, let me tell you, the first criteria is your hair must be non-spiky, unless of course your dad is some big shot in the school which allows you to put on a charade.(bwhaha) The teachers are so bow wow. So are the well-trained and force-fed Project Pioneers, while we all know some of them pretended to be good boys and girls so they get the scarce chance to be a Orientation Facillitators. Some frontier teachers in charge do put the students' interests at the very priority, at least it's made to seem like that, to convince and move people. I do hear people saying, "The main concern for working so hard with the students is their own future." Worse all, if you belong to a society gaining too much attention and coverage, you'll be near your eradication. I've heard of teachers inplanting values to the Leaders of Leaders(LoL) that "your club is not good, they're planning against you, they're challenging you." Hey, Im not saying they did such degrading stuff, but that's what i heard. I have the right to believe it.
If only you were me.
Then the LoL go around giving u the stares, the cold look. hey, i dont owe u my life to see you guys/girls/lackies ckungif sulk at me everyday, okay? What we treated you with the purest friendship, we were offered with lies and cold faces. Thanks for the reward man. The deeper Im in with my club, the grayer my life gets. Im hurt, denied, and taken out. You won @@, happy? Help that was promised never arrived, never from the top, they were not there, just like fire sprinkles at the top of your head never setting off with u smoking away. Worse still, you dont even get to see them on top of ur head. Worse still, the institution makes crushing your very house as reconstructing it. well, if the Principal ever gets to see this, he'll say I'm cklufigyn stupid to not accept things in a positive manner. Why not, you try it at the age of seventeen, when the very identity ur pigged and cowed for is taken away and annihilated.
If you were me, maybe.
I really dont know what'd gotten into me lately. I feel empty, akin to a nut shell. Friends in @@, Thomas, Jie, Tong, Cheng, Kent, Nich and many more. I dont deny them being the by-far more enriching experience. But Im really indebted to all them, i guess. Im always there with a gray face, not knowing what to and what can i say. Lots to share, but little time. They are the closest, yet distant ones. I've been bruised terrible over the years before I step into a place where I'm warmly welcomed by the class(not that I'm outcast or hated for), much lesser challenges to overcome, and of course much lesser turmoils. I dont open up to a person in matter of months, needless to say a big group. I need a long period of true quality orientation bah, something two years in @@ cant grant me. I don't deny sometimes i'm so troubled that I've to fake a smile out, but i did that only to keep the spirit in the group up.
Do you still wanna be me?
However, times spent with them had always been great and rewarding. Im not too committed in the group cause I don't really do groupies when i was thrown in turblent times. Friends I've made, Friend I'll remember @@05S19. The class is funnily bonded. Goodness, We had a class outing at Marina South for a steamboat and an over-sixty-percent attendance was almost unbelievable for any JC's Civics class. Moreover, two teachers(I'll call them GTL.T- Great Teachers L and T) joined us in the merry event, as friends, not of superior status. That's what I'm happy as im astounded. They even joined us in our dumb game of "Open Numbers" and "Fear Factor". What the merry world, spoonful of butter, watermelon "stubs", rubber charsiew, stone bao, charsiew fried rice, essence of rubbish food and soup. Whats more appalling was that some fourteen of us, inclusive of the GTL.T, caught a late night movie together, The Memoirs of a Geisha. We so wanted to dozed off, not that the movie is not up to it, just that we were worn out. It was an extraordinary deep movie. haha.. All these, with GTL.T are a part of us. GTL.T, Im grateful for what you've done for the class(especially the forgiveness, love and compromising that you guys even Mr O and Mr Az and Miss Zg has shown to us.) although we're not the best and most listening students. Find happiness soon!!.. haha..
If you were me.
Nah, you dont have to be.
I can be me.
If only you were with me,
maybe you would know.
(Disclaimer: The issues addressed above are sole opinions of the blogger only and are not true facts, so dont take me to court. Names have been tried as much to be protected, but if anyone is drag into any shit because of this stupid blogger, forgive me.)
till then;
20:57
