1-As soon as you get online - Whose name do you look at first
2-When you hear your phone ringing - Who do you hope it is calling
3-When a love song comes on the radio - Whose face comes to your mind
4-Which name makes your heart skip a beat everytime you hear it
5-Who is it that you always find yourself thinkingabout - wondering if they're thinking about you
We're dorks and dumbfs, i do agree.
Let's review our Davincie Cast. I'm Carrot Lantern and from the bottom right and clockwise: Pranwmy, Lietenaut Collect, Agent Soapy Nehbu, Sister at Saint Suplice, Fache Mernage, Harlot(prositute) 1 on the streets, And eh.. Andre(bank manager)
till then;
22:05
-[ Brimming with Life ]-
As hard as Ne-Yo's "So Sick" keeps trying to churn up mixed emotions in me by going "Say I'm so sick of love songs, so sad it's slow..", Corrinne May's "Angel In Disguise" just resound in my head. So it means I'm having a positive mindset now!
Take a look at the ordinary,
Dont need to look for paradise,
You could be next to an Angel in Disguise.
Everyday can be legendary.
This entry would be rather rojak: huge content, no structure or planning but nonetheless nice and tasty. I'll deal issues one by one.
It's Smokin'
Smoke. Cigarettes. Lungs Cancer. Air Pollution. Tar/Nicotine Intoxication. Passive Smoking. Tubercolosis and so the list runs on. We are all too familiar with the list of negative implications cigarettes, so i wont bore you by beating around the bush. I'm not on an Anti-Smoking Campaign or am I any spokesperson for any organisation.
In fact, I find the scent musk in cigg's smoke rather erotic as of what i've encountered in pubs.
My only motive is to reach out to friends close to my heart and my loved ones who likes to have a butt(pun intended) stuck in their mouth. My front is nothing moral, social, or great in any way.
It's just, for me. Yup A selfish reason. I find that if the people i mentioned above smoke, they are like shortchanging the time we are going to spend with each other, our/my happiness and all other moments together with illnesses and an earlier death. Im not talking the effects of passive smoking due to my friends, but rather the impact of ciggs on their health in the long run.
Yes, this has been going on in my mind for a long time before i decided to post it online. =)
Smoking is like burning away the colours of your/my/our lives.
Smoking: Maybe a choice for you, a tradition for you children.
Stop the cycle
Love
Been broken into tiny shards that eventually never got pieced together to form the innocent heart that i used to have. I realised that clinging on to your old self doesn't help. Let go and re-mould my heart to a more society-fitting battle-ready form everytime some one i loved hurt me.
When a relationship ends, it's just so pain-inflicting. It hurts. Your world caves in, the skies darkened, your purpose gone. But I carried on with my life, staggering with each step but still with hope. Only thing in mind, was to learn from my loss and mistakes, and to wish the other party the best.
When a couple splits, both played a part in the separation. Not entirely one's fault, or it might just be simply the that your personalities conflicted each other loh. Don't persist onto something you once had. Cherish the past, no cling onto it.
Dare to take up a love and dare to let it go.
You know what?
I still believe in forever love.
It's just in some rubbish chute.(ponder what i mean, ask me if u really cant.)
Other thing on Love is that, I'm super anti those fup(f-up) people who used the term "stead" to address their loved/attached one. I mean, if you are thirteen and you lack of the vocab to address that special person in your life, I wont blame you. but, lakhasdfs u get what i mean. I just feel that the word "stead" is uber childish, immature and lame. I dont like the term girlfriend/boyfriend also. Prefer to be calling her like, "This is my girl" or "My love".
Yah lah.. it's just a term, but the word "stead" is really misused and misinterpreted by all already. Avoid using that.
The one you loved most is not likely to be the one that will live your life with you.
The one that loved you most not likely to be the person who will end up with you.
The one that ends up with you tends to be a person that you dont love too much, or loved you too much.
General life
I got tired. So I decided to lump everything here in this category.
Life has been quite spastic recently. Life's monotonous for a while, but not it's picking up a little pace and intensifying. It was warm, easy and sweet. I still dont dare to make any big step, because i'm not so sure. But certainly I do feel I'm giving a little too much right into my life. Am I over-doing? Am I just another period of sex sessions or so to say? I dont wish the song "Get Mine, Get Yours" by Christina Aguilera to speak too much of.
LoL.. blah blah.
Holidays! Got more time on my shoulder but I hope i wont waste too much of them this time. Gotta study hard, Mid Year Exams reaching its evil arms towards me. And there's no escape. It's fight, no flight!
After Physics's last SPA(Practical) assestment on thursday, some of us went out for pizza after it. I'm in the picute, you can pick up a few strands of my hair left to the first guy on the left bottom column. Yah.. I was cut off. Sians. Anyway, wonder why Kent is up with colours? He told me, "you noticed cheng face gone in that pic? i pursposely cover de." Wah.. I listen le, suddenly feel very evil then expose his acts loh. =)
Me and fart(siettie lah, she will kill me for calling her fart). The multi-talented(artiscally and linguistic-ly) girl who wanted to take a picture with me when i was just starting to style my hair. No, this is not way close to what I was trying to achieve. It's for the effect, peeps. Taken during last year(2005) March PPS6A1999 Chalet.
Silas and Remy(or rather Prawny
The Ugly(ME), The Poser (always ready to smile and struck a innocent look) and the Greedy(Watch how the food is gone on her stick while we still have ours on.)
Are you ready for me?
till then;
13:17
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
-[ another one of the many Rants ]-
I'll quote WeiLin to tell of today.
Wednesday,24 May 2006's entry:
"oh yeah, i was late for the 1st time in school today. even though there was a need to pass my bus pass to the uncle, or write my name on a slip of paper, i did neither. (: hehe willy was even cleverer, he wrote someone else's name and slipped away! haha koko said that we cld hitch a ride cus hes taking a cab. but apparently his cab missed our bus stop. haha you shld have seen the looks on our faces. instead of looknig shocked cus we missed each other, we looked at each other as the cab whizzed away. LOL damn funny lah. anyway, we tried to take a cab but there was no available cab (must be willy not handsome enough), so in e end we took 198, after missing 3 of it."
I must say we were very sly slugs, keep thinking of plans to not hand in our buspasses, but it was must easier than expect, stupid dogs.
We are scheming people. =)
But I'm the evil one.
I realised my class guys worse than bit**es and gays... gossip like hell of a business. And AHhh.. i just cant continue, fagging.. and termed themselves Mitches(Male bitches).
How cool is that? Gay.
till then;
23:31
Monday, May 22, 2006
-[ Fears relived ]-
Nothing too traumatising or what occurred actually.
Just another one of my many inner struggles.
I'm wary of the love i feel.
Is it real permanent(more than a year) emotions of attachment or just real infatuation.
I dont like to hurt anyone.
Yet I would like to find out.
Maybe when you got thrown into a pool of needles a few times,
you become a mouse,
too scared to take a big step.
But I will try.
=)
till then;
23:13
Saturday, May 20, 2006
-[ You can't ]-
They can say
Anything they want to say
Try to break me down
But I will not allow anyone to succeed hanging clouds over me
And they can try
How to make me feel that I
Dont matter at all
But I refuse to falter in what I believe
Or lose faith in my dreams
Cause theres
Theres a light in me
That shines brightly
They can try
But they cant take that away from me
From me
Oh they
They can do
Anything they want to you
If you let them in
But they wont ever win
If you cling to your pride and just push them aside
See I
I have learned
Theres an inner peace I own
Something in my soul that they can not possess
So I wont be afraid and the darkness will fade
Cause theres
Theres light in me me
That shines brightly, yes
They can try
But they cant take that away from me
They cant take this Precious love
Ill always have inside me
Certainly the Lord will guide me where I need to go
They can say Anything they want to say
Try to break me down
But I wont face the ground
I will rise steadily sailing out of their reach
Although they do try
Hard to make me feel that I
Dont matter at all
But I refuse to fall
Tell me what I believe or lose faith in my dreams
Cause theres a light in me
That shines brightly, yes
They can try but they cant take that away from me
From me
till then;
17:44
-[ Crazy, cool 19-20 May ]-
Anyway, before I start getting myself carried away in typing all that I wanna to say, here's a video I would really like to share with you. Came across it at a world famous fansite once, downloaded but lost it somehow. Finally found it on Youtube.com, it's seriously the best video tribute to her.
This is the Second best performace I've seen done for the song Baby One More Time. The Best being the one she done for DWAD(Dream Within A Dream) Tour. This lets me knows why I(Loser) Loves her so much. She sings live! rare!
Okay, first thing I watched Da Vinci's code with my classmates over at Cineleisure last night(1am show) and wow.. Nothing too disppointing, the plot was slightly different(and I still prefer the book version). It's was like the more important infomation was sieved out and portrayed on screen while the less important ones are eliminated(duh, of course). What I mean is that the story on screen now has loopholes and the sense of mysteries is really missing. I still like the onscreen version and it's really surprising still. Only now that you could easily guessed the identity of Sophie Neveu and the identity of real bad guy.
The other big flaw is the lack of explanation as to why Teabing could fly anywhere he wants without proper flight plans(required even when you have a private jet) and proper documents. Next is when the arrest is done, why is Sophie and Robert allowed to roam around in England freely when they are without passports and stuff. Actually these strange warps of events are rather sufficiently explained in the book. Seriously.
So I really suggest you to read the book if you havent, it's twice as exciting and intruiging. And yah, just a tip if you find the book quite a bore at some chapters, Skip the chapters on Silas or just skim through fast, because he doesnt cause much problem when u miss him out in the story and his part is really mundane and full of "huhs".
=)
By the way, this year @@ Talenttime 2006 really s##ks and has several severe technical errors during the performances. The AVAC(sound and stage crew) crew was having some awkward running on and off stage moments during the performances, and the sudden screeches and overwhelming impact of some vocalist all due to poor sound management. Mic tests prior to the show apparently wasn't done good.
Yuhui is right, this talent time is more like a karaoke sessions for the people(esp true for the Minister) to enjoy on stage. Minus one tracks are raw and bass is weak and hollow and the singers seem to be tasked with the stupid responsibility to belt out all the parts as the lead singer and background singers(if any) alone. Meaning they are like weak, we seriously need background singers. LoL.
Firstly we have to blame the venue with its poor sound system(as far as i've seen, it's poor. and serves you right for compromising quality for rat cheap venue). Next we have to blame the seemingly inexperienced and noisy sound crew. I'm being critical, but if you want things to be good/better, expect comments and accept certain criticism.
The performances gave me headache when the teachers start to perform. I have to admit, I hail the female math teacher with great respect for the courage to continue to be up on stage when she missed the rhythm and tempo of the song almost completely. Mr Jose-- -an was freaky. Yes, freaky. Yes, he can sing in both Chinese and Japanese like a pro and dance like a hip-hop artiste ala Rain(Korean Singer) and 5566(Taiwan) or even better. But just seeing his Gggggggg_y actions just intoxicates you with helium and makes u squel like a tard. It's SCARY.
And you think the worse is over, Our Guest of Honour was a Minister(refer to www.cchocolatee.blogspot.com for more info on the night's performances) and I thought he was just giving another boring speech like every other Guest of Honours for any show (How I wish he did that). He started tracing the roots of Singapore from its budding state to it's rapidly growing state now, not only by talking. He started singing Xiao Bai Chuan(Chinese Song:Little White Boat) and Bangawan Solo(Malay Song) and even a tamil song~! He proceeded to sing a motivational song to our Singapore written 40years ago and next a duet with Mr Koh. Oh my goddness.
It's the first concert where I really felt overwhelmed, through the blasting mic volumes and the breath, i mean life-taking performances. I had to make my way out for fresh air halftime for survival because I wanna keep my life for my Davinci show after the talenttime.
Oh yeah, Thomas was super cool lah.. "(with muffled embarrassed awkward laughters)Can I make friends with you?"
Wahahaha~! Sh*t. I hope I wont die on Monday.
My blog of sercret messages.
till then;
16:28
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
-[ Britney Freak ]-
Curious
Nice commercial for her frangrant and my fantasy, i say.
Performer - She is.
Emotional
Cry - to know that she's a human.
Walk this way- and see that she sings.
In the morning with Lee Ryan.
till then;
15:29
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
-[ Laugh at Novelties ]-
This world is rather interesting, as people struggle to yet again contradict themselves. On one end of the stupidity spectrum, we are trying to define boundaries and draw links and relations to a ever-changing, non-constant big round sphere with scientists burying their heads into figuring out why the titanic sank, and how blue lasers store more infomation than conventional red lasers. Not forgetting we have philosophers comtemplating the complexities and simplicities of life, trying to inspire others when met with the same troubles that they(philosophers) have already faced. Oh yah, this behavior also leads to uprise of religions and the many packs of believers, whether true or not, I wont comment and dont know yet(wait for me to prove it then).
While on the other hand, we have the same people desperate to break out of the mould the world/societies stereotyped and be different/unique, like how we see humans still struggling to be "crowned" by the Guiness Book of Records for being the fastest, craziest or the stupid-est.
The former, being the acts of the insecure homo sapiens trying to see "light" and strength in face of adversities as we try to observe patterns of events, predict and avoid the unneccessary problems and trouble.
The latter are people sick of being yet another fleeting soul(that they think the former is) and trying to find a place to stand and shine with their own light(talents).
I'm not trying to say who's and which's better. Both have its assests and debilities and a mix of both is essentially the best. Actually no one is solely from one group, we just likely to be more inclined to one end of the continuum.
What I'm trying to suggest here is that science, laws and past experiences should be just guidelines in your life, not the rule(s) of thumb. We should make space for anomalies and acknowledge their prescence. The world doesnt have too much of a constant pattern but like the periodic table [that Mendeleev(a Russian chemist) have conjured up with in 1869], there are trends to events and their occurence probability. The biggest difference is that humans can and should choose their choice of actions in response to the situation unlike the elements(of the periodic table) which are mundane in their behaviour(fixed and definite response to certain chemicals).
Have an open mind.
Things do change and evolve.
Remember "The only constant is change." and you have the power to your fate.
On a lighter note, my very cute Grandma came over to stay with our family since my brother is away for business till 2nd June, leaving a vacant bed, so now she's sleeping on my bed while im taking my brother's. So to say of the elderly, or rather the experienced, what they speak of are valued treasure which light your path. Granny's suffering for senile dementia, and it has aggravated till she only know I'm her daughter's son, not the grandson. But she's still so loving and benevolent.
LOL, she was going to sleep earlier on but had no idea where to put her specs cause she confessed that she's afraid that kids(her grandchildren) would take her specs and play with them. The only problem, I'm the youngest in the family,and so i wonder: Would I playwith her glasses? Cute! She's forgotten again. :)
Before she dreams away,she told me she had a grandson(Daniel), who's my age(18) and is a very filial and good boy. She also reminded me as how she told him to not forget my meals and dont take too much junk food. It's cool for her to be talking to me like that, though she really forgoten that daniel is my cousin.
I dont dream for her to recall me, because i will love her the way she is. At least I hope she'll be happy with her stay here and the rest of her life. Don't wanna lose her. She is a woman who brought her families to its feet and displayed fair love among her children and grandchildren.
till then;
23:03
Monday, May 15, 2006
-[ Responsibilities v.s Desires ]-
Time Check:11.13pm
Schedule Check: Sleeping.
Reality: Just aoken.
Just as much as I would want to be "normal", i.e. sleep at ten and wake up at six, my body is resisting the master. I was supposed to nap from 1830-1930 but, my body gave in to desires and just slept through now.
This is bad, bad, bad.
I can't finish Hanning's card by today by the looks of it. I've a SAT wordlist quiz and a Chemistry Practical Skill A: Planning. I chose to compromise Hanning's card for the other two, and instead spend this time typing these. Sorry ning. =X my bad...
It is always like that, I let my body get the best of time. Gotta have that greater sense of responsibility. Wake up!!!
Learning the truth about me.
till then;
23:13
Sunday, May 14, 2006
-[ It's Time. ]-
.. to move on.
All my entries recently, I've been rattling on and on about me being perfetc(again, i emphasized no spelling error.), me being only human, me against the world. Only now then i realised, i'm caught up with the unneccessary need for explanation for my actions and behaviours that are not accepted by my surroundings. I gotta emphasised, "There's gotta be more to life" than chasing down every temporary high.
Oh yah, I think I'm coming out of the little box i enclosed myself in. I took the first step yesterday. It was not easy. I just want to say, thank you, you know who you are. Words cannot express my gratitude. You show acceptance towards my anomalies and love me as a friend the way I am. Dark clouds have shifted out of side, and I'm starting to make my way boldly again. I need you help, and I'll help you. Life, is about interdepence, is about trust. I'm sorry for the days when I doubted you.
Anyway, it's Mother's Day today, every second Sunday of May. We must show our appreciation towards the load-carrier and the love-giver, not forgetting how she endured hardships and kept her silence when she knew she was right. She gave in many, many, many times to you. She shaped you in a way or two. She built you.
I didn't get anything for my mother, because i think i was too bogged down by certain events and i really didnt knew what my mother wants. She doesnt indulge much in worldly tangibles and she doesn't have a big dream, than to have her children grow up and be somebody useful. I only helped her cooked dinner today like every other evenings that I can free myself. I only kissed her upteen times to show how much i appreciate her. I only spent a little time each night to lie by her and talk to her to see if she's alright. She's one superwoman. Even when she's stricken with fever and flu attacks, she'll still take care of your daily needs and be there for you.
She talks to you, reason out with you and always there to listen to my side of the story. When I'm in the wrong, I'm made to know this fact and be responsible to my actions. Unconditional Love, i call these. She's so perfect even at those times when she compromised my father's unforgivable(unforgivable) behaviours.
She's investing lots of time, effort, money and her life into us. I only wish one day, and soon, that I'll be able to fund my parents to travel around the world and have fun. And I will make time to go with them. Cause we're a family. Though I must say, we are much like a tradional Asian family. Family bonds may be strong, but never close. We dont share too much personal stuff.
I only wish, too, that my wife and children would possess her characteristics and hold on to it, amidst this misty and misleading.
Anything you hate about me, direct it at me, Never my family.
The females in my family(my Sister and Mother) said in many times, "Offend someone, not the Beh(s)". =) In case you're unaware of, my Surname is Beh.
Happy Mother's Day to all mothers in this world.
till then;
20:29
Saturday, May 13, 2006
-[Saint Willy]-
Sounds weird.
I can never be that.
I wonder how people can preach about the need to be rational and mature for every issue and decision we make.
Sounds so "un-humanly".
Don't we ever realised we are humans made of flesh and bone, something God(s) aren't made of. And we make mistakes even when we grow old, just like a toddler falling helplessly when making his/her first few steps.
I'm not perfect.
Kent, Sorry if i disappointed you in a way or two, big or small.
Sorry Cheng for my unreasonable personality at times.
Sorry PeiLi cause it seems like i'm making use of you.
Sorry friends if i actually shock you, broke out of the mould you fixed me in.
Somewhere in time, you should start to look at me in different likes.
I'm much like a kaleidoscope, just that I'm not one that generates awesome and colourful pictures.
It's a great idea when we always keep trying to become better, and better.
But realised we're not good in everything, not to say everytime.
Just to let you know,
for everything I do,
I'll do it and give it my best, as of what im capable of at that point of time.
Meaning, i wont launch myself fulling into one thing at a time, i have more than one pivots lay on me,
and i have to make my choices.
I'm sorry Miss L(just to protect you/me from any lawsuits), if im not performing up to your expectations.
I'll do my best for my A's whatever i'm allowed to do.
I'm not after the best.
Just my best.
I wasnt the best all the time when i was back in secondary school.
I was always the slightly above average kid.
Somehow the words you say have very sarcastic and negative connotations that hurt not only me, but quite some people.
I dont blame you, really.
You are really patient, from the way you tutor the everybody-want-to-stangle XY.
At least, I still and always respect you.
So to say. I'll do my best.
In the garden of love.
till then;
01:20
Friday, May 12, 2006
-[ Confessions of a Broken Heart ]-
I'm devastated today.
I can't find anyone to walk this path with me today.
Thank goodness, i know it's only today.
Or is it not?
Forced to be alone when im lonely.
God.
Thank goodness I'm used to this.
These are the confessions of a broken heart.
p.s.Cheng Wai is right,
I'm the kinda man that would most easily and most "impactful-ly" hurt a woman. =)
till then;
16:03
-[ Just Amazing Voices ]-
Be overwhelmed and conquered by some of the world's most amazing and captivating voices in the world.
Some of which took over me and gives me strength. =)
Meet Bumac and dont underestimate him. =)
A groovy song that gets you tapping you feet while being awe-d at the same time.
Lady Marmalade by Pink, Lil' Kim, Mya, Christina Aguilera and Patti Labelle.
Beyonce's got me lost for words. Be touched by
Dangerously in Love.
Wow Mariah.
We Belong Together/Fly like a bird Medly.
Here's the Best Selling Female Recording of All times reminding you how she make her mark.
Bow down for Mariah Carey
Maybe because of this songs, your words will never have an impact on me negatively.
Christina Aguilera. shed tears.
All hail to Music.
till then;
14:54
-[ Strip me ]-
Hey. This shall be the day Episode 2 officially unfolds, although it has surfaced since 8th May 06.
........Project Stripped.
What I meant is not physically denuded or anything too sexually connotated. This is truly inspired by that true star of the new times, Christina Aguilera's Stripped album released by BMG back in 2002. It's the album that stayed spinning in my discman, computer, hi-fi system for the longest consecutive period of time: Six months, rather amazing for one album alone. It beings loads of positives messages hidden among the songs, lyrics and the advesities portrayed by the lyrics. It has certainly changed my life and shaped in positively. Made me a better man.
The picture for my blogskin may suggest otherwise, but I guess that's the ways things are going to be. This aint no porn, this is what sexy truly means to me.
What I meant is not physically denuded or anything too sexually connotated. This is truly inspired by that true star of the new times, Christina Aguilera's Stripped album released by BMG back in 2002. It's the album that stayed spinning in my discman, computer, hi-fi system for the longest consecutive period of time: Six months, rather amazing for one album alone. It beings loads of positives messages hidden among the songs, lyrics and the advesities portrayed by the lyrics. It has certainly changed my life and shaped in positively. Made me a better man.
I was especially shocked but pleasantly surprised by Fann Wong portrayal as Xiyi. Her acting wow. wow. wow. The emotions she portayed: Sadness, lost, strength, determination were all adequately displayed and succeeded in stirring up feelings in the audience's heart. LoL. Cool.
