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Saturday, March 18, 2006

==============================

Marina Geishas 19

I think the turn up for the outing that day was about 17/25 with the presence of two very special teachers, Ms Lang and Ms Eleen Tan. It was a day out at Marina for steamboat, crazy food games, and a late-night movie, Memoirs of a Geisha. And not to forget, the cab trip groupies. Blogged about this event during January or February 2006, just thought pictures speaks louder. But I realised I forgotten to include my own face. Oh well, I think i left out some faces as well, but yah, it was not on purpose. I mean, it's not like i left out the Top Five when they werent there in the first place.

 Posted by Picasa

till then; 21:44



Controversial Me

I'm one who used to be afraid of being different,
to identify and be myself.
Until I realised I was being silly,
letting the people around me control me,
moulding me into yet another typicales that they're becoming themselves.

They call me weirdo, loser, sissy, sucker
when I was trying to set my footings.
They pushed me far out.
back in 2001.

All started when Sher-loser-man Lim Goofy
lost his reasonings in a misunderstanding between me and him,
and started the name-calling game (one-sided).
What was the misunderstanding for, you ask?
For a simple Literature project.
Da*n he screwed my life,
but thanks he made me reaslied it's high time to wake up my idea.

I didnt know how to express myself.
I dont know how to explain my way out the mess.
I dont know where to find inner peace.

A year of loneliness,
you cant imagine.
A year of searching,
you wont like to endure.
Thank goodness for God, Yixin, June.T , Lixin, Wanlin,
Benjamin lim, Thomas (forgot the surname, from YHOPE SINGAPORE), Abigail, Geradine, Jane, Sherby
and many more I failed to identify here
for being there with me then.
when i was most vulnerable

In 2002,
I found myself,
just a little clearer of who I am.
They approached me and called me a buddy.
Wow, for all that sissiness I'm displaying they'd agreed with Sherman.
They apologised though.
and I dont hold it against them.

No today,
If not for them.
Funniest thing is Jian Heng forgot why he even agree with Sherman,
said he was really sorry.

Cher Chuan, Shao Yong, Jian Heng, Jeremy, Benjamin, Ken and many more
came to re-know me.
Got especially closed with Shao Yong and Cher Chuan and Ken.
They were my brothers man.
So much fun, so much stories, so many memories.

Already lost them though,
due to my foolishness to give way up my friendships
for Ken and his desires.
Lost them dearly.
Misses them dearly.
Really want them back,
but it's an impossibility.
But I'll not stop trying.


Me now.
I'm closer to opening the very doors to my heart.
So amazing that some friends are already in there when I'm still on my way.
I care about the opinions my close/real friends have for me.
Like that of Hui Ting,Yixin, PeiLi, Thomas Tong, Tong Loong, Kent.s, Cheng Wai,
L. Jie Sheng, Nicholas Chan, Deric
and many many many more.
I'm not talking about super close friends though,
as long as I find you real and truthful,
I'll listen.
They reflect truth and advises
that i'll heed.

I dont bother to explain to those who are clouded with
who I am
what I am
and what I do.
For whatever I explain,
I seem to be so selfish,
trying to clear my name
in the expense of badmouthing the other person inevitably.

As what history has thought me,
I'm learning from it.
I'll let the moments you spend with me
explain everything.

It's kinda cool though,
even up to this point I've people bad-mouthing me.
Am I that worth it? haha so honoured man.
Latest I heard was that
I was a flirt, desperado and a digusting pig.
That I take obscene and seductive pictures.

Personally,
that all you've said
made me understand more about people.
and moreover you're complimenting my pictures taken.


I'm just comfortable with being myself.
Are you?
But so far,
I've not taken anything to display my you know what.
Nudity is an art,
but taking a fully naked shot to me,
I feel disgusted.
I'll like some form of imagination.
so they'll always be some form of coverage.

So many rumors I'm still hearing.
and no, I wont clarify with you who I am attached to.
Leave a lil space for imagination,
isn't that good exercise for your brains?

I do explain to people close to me on most issues though,
issues that I think are too complicated to be fathom by one's mind alone.
and for the reason that I dont wanna lose anyone dear anymore.
I've learnt to have many pivots in life.
Not solely on one,
not only on Ken.

Whatever people say in attempt to break me,
makes me.
I guess one of my biggest influence was Britney Spears.
Hell no, you say?
She's not all sacred, holy, righteous and a role model to mass public.
But she is to me.

She dont showcase the best vocals around yet,
she doesnt sing life 24/7.
But hey,
as an artiste, an entertainer,
she's the best around.

She's being herself,
being controversial.
She said stuff that are all too contradicting to herself,
but hey, we're only humans.
We make mistakes,
so why dont you look at your own?
Being out in the media at the age of 15,
and under all the limelight and media attention,
no privacy to speak off,
no high-school and college to learn her ways(Secondary school and Junior College in Sg context.),
no room for mistakes.
She's her own abscondence.
She has her reasons,
and she totally loves and totally hates herself too.
LoL
Look at her interviews

No doubt she's screwed up now.
But I certainly hope she'll soar in near furutre after her ecrovid. LoL
She will.

Like how Britney, Christina Aguilera, Enimnen, Stefanie Sun and many artistes
conceal secret messages in things they do,
like their music,
I do show you who I am,
just the matter of your sharpness to read me out.

Standing tall.
Simple.
Complex.
Controversial.
Unfathomable.
Lite.


Read what my girlfriend blogs about, http://www.simplified-truth.blogspot.com

Please visit also:

A really goofy and funny interview:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XGtDFI28ws&search=britney%20interview
Sidenotes: The interview asked why her car was always "topless" in the movie.

Touching Interview where she cried:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYtkfrpKBjI&search=britney%20interview

Lastest and funny interview of BS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhdwlo0huhE&search=britney%20interview
Sidenotes: Sean P is her son.

till then; 13:09



==============================

DATE MOVIE

Storyline(First paragraph fron Yahoo! Movies):

The story of hopeless romantic Julia Jones, who has finally met the man of her dreams, the very British Grant Fonckyerdoder. But before they can have their Big Fat Greek Wedding, they'll have to Meet the Parents, hook-up with The Wedding Planner, and contend with Grant's friend Andy - a spectacularly beautiful woman who wants to put an end to her Best Friend's Wedding.

The jokes cracked are however very not funny. You'll instead find them disgusting actually. They really pushed the jokes too far and you get a good 20seconds to shut your eyes at every joke they try to hatch.

What I do find funny is the scene re-enactment of Mr and Mrs Smith at the end of the movie. They really get you laughing, but hey that's the end of the movie in the middle of the credits. Many people would have stormed out of the theater by then.

Bottomline: Cliche. Disgusting. Freaky. Freagust

Score: 2.5/10 [reflecting my own opinions only.]My fave moments~!

till then; 12:55



==============================

Underworld
Evolution




Storyline:


The film backtracks to the beginnings of the ancient feud between the two races, the Lycans (Werewolves) and the Vampires.Back to current world, Selene (Kate Beckinsale), the vampire heroine, and Michael (Scott Speedman), the lycan hybrid, try to unlock the secrets of their bloodlines through a series of run and chase witht the leader of all Vampires, Markus.


The story has some pretty neat animations of the two tribes and the fighting involved and so is the make-up for the characters. In the movie, the director captured not only the third person's view like every other movie, but also the first person's view at times like that of you play a game. However the love between Selene and Michael is somewhat poorly depicted, unless you think a 5-minute segment of them having sex = love.


Pretty interesting screen play between the character to note and an innovative script here.


Bottomline: Thrilling.


Ratings: 6.5/10



keeps you yearning for more.

watched with jeric and dexter

till then; 12:26



Thursday, March 16, 2006

==============================
To a better world..
Not thiinkiing so far or anythiing..
leaviing a day at a tiime..

Procrastiinatiing more and more..
So what..
IIm sorry:
Aliiciia for the never-seem-to-come postage
perfetclite.blogspot readers for the broken promiises about the entriies
ms Lang, mr Azmii and mr Oh for the homework due last month
and many more iin ma liife.

haha.. why am ii always sayiing sorry?




Ii wanna be straiight to be poiint.

till then; 23:08



Monday, March 13, 2006

==============================

Cam Lover

Sister went to IT fair over at Suntec Singapore and got some pretty cool stuff at very affordable price
A cam that lags not because it captures too little frames per second,
but because of my failing com at 25bucks
A headphones w microphone at about 10 bucks.
A portable 80gig hard drive at 165bucks(MINE)

Should be getting a new computer, just dont know when.
New Camera, New functions. Time for some shooting.
can even play video games like BlackJack using motion/pixel recognition.
Have lots of cool functions like photo enhancement


The pictures are blur because it's not that good a camera and also i use several blurring effects.
yay!

No Comments~!



Dont ask me how, I just can do it. God, I love storm from Xmen


I said dont look up, the sky falls pretty often.



Someone get the noise to stop?



When the chasms dividing the world blurs.



Get me to laugh. Someone.



This pic is not taken by the webcam, but is edited by the webcam programme.

Loving thyself before loving thee.

till then; 16:27



Sunday, March 12, 2006

==============================

Life now

Today went out to catch a movie with kwang min(Light, LoL), I chose the movie. It was dumb and a total waste of nine fifty. I was thinking of doing a review of the movie then i realised it was not worth one bit. The storyline doesn't link up, the editing was badly done, the pictures and scenes were badly angled and blur. The characters were given proper shots, giving people a impression that they lack X-factor(maybe it's a fact).

The storyline isnt deeply developed and elaborated and the story doesn't seem to be really based on true events because it was a really weak foundation they build their story on. If for any reasons, you wanna try the movie, it would be for the gory and the disgust, although seriously lacking too. There wasnt any suspense, u squint your eyes only because u find it pukish, not because it's traumatising.

Bad Bad Bad. What The film really does is make u fearful of Australia.



Lousy movie aside, I'm having a slightly smooth ride to recovery. =) Very depressing though, cause cant find anyone that I need to go out with. Dont blame them, cause they have their purposes in life too. Finding strength in lots of music and blogging bah. I'm opening up pretty well here, that's why I blog a lot.


I realised Rainiee also does this. hmm.. =) I dont hate times like this, although i do wish it to past soon. It's too real a feeling, the heartache, if u get what i mean. You really feel weak and the wrenching of each heartbeat but i like that feeling too because it's really real~. It's ironic. But it's just so tangible, that you dont feel the same about happiness this way.


If you dont get what i mean. When you're elated, you smile, you dont feel it. But with sadness, comes tears, one which u can touch. Oh yah, Dont ask me to dont feel so sad, as in.. dont find it a bother to see me sad. yah, it's normal to me, im one who likes extreme sadness and happiness. I do need encouragement though, and what I've got from my friends now is really sufficient and pain-alleviating.


Because we regret, then will we learn to treasure.
If you wanna hold on to something, learn how to lose it first.

till then; 23:51



==============================
walk the line


Review from Yahoo! Movies



In 1955, a tough, skinny guitar-slinger who called himself J.R. Cash walked into the soon-to-be-famous Sun Studios in Memphis. It was a moment that would have an indelible effect on American culture. With his driving freight-train chords, steel-eyed intensity and a voice as deep and black as night, Cash sang blistering songs of heartache and survival that were gutsy, full of real life and unlike anything heard before. That day kicked off the electrifying early career of Johnny Cash. As he pioneered a fiercely original sound that blazed a trail for rock, country, punk, folk and rap stars to come, Cash began a rough-and-tumble journey of personal transformation. In the most volatile period of his life, he evolved from a self-destructive pop star into the iconic “Man in Black” – facing down his demons, fighting for the love that would raise him up, and learning how to walk the razor-thin line between destruction and redemption.


My Interpretation of the story:


Storyline: The opening of the story was stirring and really blasted the movie off well with and the plot flows very well, maybe because it's the biography of the real Johnny. Johnny Cash(Joaquin Phoenix), a man who have been through tough times during the war, always had a passion in music, married a woman, had some kids but never really got a job after the war. Got his break when he past a recording company, and he clinched an audition. It almost failed but was awarded a second chance. From then on, you just see more and more sparks between June Cater(Reese Witherspoon) and Jonny Cash! The story was beautiful captured with sharp but smoothened twists.


Halfway through the movie, I got bored the movie which ran for about two hours i think, because the story is too long(cant blame it cause it's the life story of someone famous, if it's short, it kinda suggest his life is empty. LoL). What really pushed the movie very far was that both Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon performed all the vocals on the film.(Of couse they went through training) But it's really unexpected, because their vocals are so, so beautifully expressed in the folk songs. The tracks they churned really get you into cloud nine. I really like Reese now! Good thing she won Oscars Best Actress, she deserve it for really having emotions played out like fliiping through a book.

Technically, this film is about Johnny Cash and music, and thus through the course of the film you either get to watch his concerts or you watch him struggle in life. I must comment that the struggles were really nicely captured to. The last scene where June finally kiss Johnny as a mark of acceptance was really wow. It was long after lots of intense enchanges of lyrics on stage that they finally got together. Watch it. Sadly both Johnny and June passed away, in 2000 i think. not too sure.

Bottom Line: Amazing, inspiring, and best sound effects. =)

Ratings: 8.5/10

From the film, Joaquin and Reese.


The real Jonny Cash And June Carter Cash


.

self-reminder: Watched with Joseph

till then; 22:24



==============================

Apocalypse of another tread

Happy.
53d.
end.
too round.
11.03.06.
LOL.. Dont bother comprehending it. it's another of those self reminder.

I'm a person who likes to leave things to speak for itself. Anyway, I went to club yesterday~! almost couldn't get in cause the bouncer say im underage. Then all thanks to my friend, rome, who practically knows the whole clubbing scene, contacted a friend, Alvin. and he had to ask of a favour cause he's a VIP, meaning he can bring people in for free. yeah. So the four of us went in for free!! Although I bought his Alvin a barcardi to thank him, think i go the spelling wrong. LOL.. means i'm not a regular clubber, yup.

All in all, we each saved thirteen dollars entrance fees. =) reached home at four ten, call it tiring. But it was not really that amazing an experience, should go with my gf.. provided i have one. hahaha..



I will leave this shirt to speak for itself. A well-designed Mambo Shirt which aptly descirbe the SC in my institution. Though they dont worth a t shirt.

till then; 13:52



==============================
[ Title ]
Feeling too much now..
So i'll do a song translation.

[[Wo Yao Kuai Le]]
Zhang Hui Mei


The Happiness I Yearn for?

Been hurt by love again.
It's okay,
I'll just take it as part of growing up.
The person that just walked away,
has the smoke still lighted,
but the scent grew blant.

Been doing some recollection,
"Thank you," I must say to those that bruised me.
I wanna be optimistic,
to listen to rain all day,
and feel no sadness.

It's not that I desire loneliness,
but everytime I've bigger share than everyone.
Even if you give me the world now,
all I'll have is still nothing.

I want happiness,
that allows me to sleep in peace every night.
Some souls feels warmth when they stop hugging one another,
lose hatred only when they left.
I should have long realised that.

I want happiness,
not afraid to laugh without worries.
My heart is not warm,
everything's a lie.
Only my tears speak the truth.

My decision was wrong/right.
I'm still unaware.

till then; 13:00



Saturday, March 11, 2006

==============================

Cruciform

Reckon that I've watched too much Anime. For the past few weeks, I've been thinking about cruciforms, from Chrono Crusade. They're actually supposed to be marks of where Jesus was crucified. Then all these while I've been having this vision that I'll get it. LOL. Maybe there's spiritual attacks.

hmm.. the vision got more clear when I fell asleep on my table one day and woke with a cross marked on my left wrist. They're actually caused by my wrist's pressure on my cellphone chain when i lay my head on the desk. Yeah.. Quite intimidating

Then true enough, the past Thursday (9th March 2006) while having Physical Conditioning Class, and doing chin-ups, I broke skins on both palms. They really tore and bleed. LoL.. I was stunt-ed lahs. Thomas explained why mine skin peeled so violently, it's because I didnt abrasive the thicken area enough, causing them to accumulate into a big bulge. So with little friction, comes great skin loss. haha..
The healing process s_cks. Pantene s_cks. Neutrogena Facial Cleaser s_cks. Water s_cks. Aloe Vera Gel basically paralysed me for 15 minutes everytime i apply them. Every other chemicals just bite as well.



Dum Spiro, Spero

till then; 12:08



==============================

BIG
MOMMA'S
HOUSE
2


Storyline: The sequel to the original adventures of master-in-disguise FBI special agent, Malcolm Turner. This time he's going undercover as Big Momma to nail his first/ex-partner's murderer. While on the case, Malcom grows attached to the suspect's(Fuller) three children, invoking several interesting(but unnecessary) twists in the story. The kids have amiable characteristics, but they're just not entertaining enough. Overall, the story line is rather cliche and at certain point, you get pretty bored. And personally, at any point through a show, when you think the movie has been screening for quite a long time and starts checking the time on your cellphone, the movie is more or less too draggy.

No doubt there are quite a number of jokes that gets you laughing, there are the "over-used" jokes that fall flat and forces you to smile because your friends are laughing, and you dont want to be seen like a dead fish. For me, I really like the scene where Molly and BM were trapped in the boot of the car, super hilarious over at the sharp turns and the conversation exchanged. LoL

One of the biggest flaws that is starkly obvious is that the plot has several bumps and unnatural turns. (After reading the reviews for BM1 which I failed to catch back in 2000, I realised that the same problem existed too) Several issues were unexplained, and you have to take it as it is.

Bottomline: Uninspiring plot but with good jokes. Watch it if you cant any other movie slots catering to your time, or wait for the DVDs.


Ratings: 6.5 / 10


New Baywatch.


Self-Reminder: Watched this movie with Dexter.


till then; 10:18



Wednesday, March 08, 2006

==============================
Sperms 2

My brain is sperming around~! Dont shout into my ear to wake up, hey any blind person know it's the holidays once friday past two in the afternoon. And it's doesnt take a person without SDSM (Self-discipline, Self-motivation) to waiver and cut some slack. But then again, to some people, i was already slacking from Day 1 of the Second year in my College *eyes roll*.

Dont think I'm ready for any long long entries these few days, cause i exhasted myself this month, so many entries le! LoL, just more excuses..! oh yah, i begin to hate other taurians. Realised Taurians dont mix well together, for the instant, take a look at me and Ken(then BBSS, now JJC). Use to be buddy-buddy *biting my own tail*, but now that I've left after I have had enough, I'm treated like an jerk who's snatched away his girl, crashed his world and left him alone. guess it dont work on me anymore.

I'll elaborate the complexities involved in the relationship between Ken and I some other day. To me, he was indeed and still is the best friend I could ever come across, if you talk about knowing each other inside out, we're telepathic, like that of brothers. But wow, someone who wouldn't even quarrel with his ex-and-future-girlfriends, and i blew my top and give up. *wow* That aside, im just saying relationships between me and taurians dont last, that's what i see so far. I'm not trying to generalise here, but taurians' interzodiac relationships that i have indeed have some cracks and imperfections. But yet, they're one of the most enjoyable ones. Prove me wrong, taurians.

But frankly speaking, i'm not one that believe so much into zodiac. But as any other saint human would, I try to find a reason to explain some things. What I say might not be right, but there are just, yet diaries of mine. Sound sissy to be using some of the terms im using here. LOL!

oh yah, talking about mystery and identity, I've just decided to blog about controversities in the next entry, provided i find my sources and determinations in time. =P


Stripped Intro-CA
Sorry you cant define me, sorry I break the mold.
Sorry that I speak my mind, sorry dont do what i'm told.
Sorry if I dont fake it, sorry I come too real.
I will never hide what, I really feel. No way.

So here it is, no hype, no glass, no pretense.
Just me.

Stripped.

till then; 17:39



==============================

Hey~! High times!

hmm, after all the self-centred articles that this crazy blogger has churned out ever since he was hooked, he's decided for something light, and all bite sizes.
Let's put our eyes together to welcome the ever narcissistic, complex, dumb - perfetc - !

he speaks:
Hey ya, to say that I have nothing to blog about(seriously so) seems pretty weak an excuse i can give. I'm just sick of typing so long, and although i like long entries, i understand the bore of having to read blatant essays from me, and moreover, having such a small scroll bar which makes it a pain to scroll. So I'm gonna post pics from my phone~!

Some of my artshots~! hmm, i hope stars in the picture dont get insulted and take me to court, cause i seriously mean no harm, and certainly im not attempting to make a joke at the expense of u.

Here goes nothing:

Brokeback Mountain
either comprehend the title or ignore this pic. ; )


Miss Kbox

figure her out.

Speechless

I dont know, let his legs speak for themselves.


Mr Funny

Someone in my class, pretty obvious.


Shadowart

really like this pic. Kinda mysterious and special.

She's JJC Alumni Connection Club President 2004/2005


=====

it's so very cold outside, like the way I am feeling.... inside.

Zoned out.

till then; 17:00



Saturday, March 04, 2006

==============================
Pictogalleria of Coco and hui, and the callefare(extra) Me


edited 13/06/05, yuhui complained.







.. always in dear memories.

till then; 23:39



==============================
The bLoved Pomeranian, Coco

I would like to dedicate the first part of today's entry to the most remembered and precious pup, Coco. Today, 03 March 2006, marks a year to Coco's passing on. My bad for even remembering the wrong date, i thought it was 12 March 2005, cause somehow i remembered the 123 link i have coined. then Yuhui corrected me, it was 345, so heartless of me to forget such an important date. It was hui who reminded me of today with a simple message "time really flies.. It's been exactly one yr since coco passed away.." The immense sense of her missing coco is all embedded within one short message. [ '_' ]

Ever since the first year that BBI was formed 2004, more of the gang got introduced to the pup, not exactly a pup but just that it's like a dwarf doggie that never really gain in size, and got more contact with her. She belongs to Yuhui, my bLoved gal from BBI. It was given to hui by her relatives when we in primary four, coco was five while hui was ten. Something unusual about this pup is that it has a very pale and soft golden crop of fur, creating a very comfiness and elegance aura to surge from Coco. This is very much different from other pomeranians which usually have a strong and wammer coat of golden brown, making them seem lion-y and just usual.

She's a bit of a kpo(Singaporean Term(ST) for the being nosey) personality, follows people around and likes to tilt her head, focus and guess what you're doing, but most of the times, she might just sashay past you and mind its own business, somewhat like a typical chiobu(ST for gorgeous lady) friend anyone can have. Well, and one thing, she's really well loved by the Pang family(yuhui's) and friends. It's really cuddly and cute. I miss her.

Last year, it was on a Friday evening, 04 March 2005, I was lazing at home waiting for time to pass before i travel to Westmall(Bukit Batok) for my Guitar lessons. Yuhui dialed up to me around 4.30pm(she refreshed my memories about the time, date and stuff. gee, im turning old man), telling me she passed away. I know I have to make a trip down. On the way, i kept reminiscing about the past. How fun it was carrying her, how adorable it was doing her own thang(surveying the house), how it manages to accomapany yuhui when she's alone at home. How precious indeed. *tears* =)

Suddenly, i thought of how much it slimmed down towards the end of her life, her rib bones are likened to that of twigs and her little legs are like celery stalks. hm, guess everyone will reach upon such a time where your energy level is much, much lower than it used to be, and you start feeling more and more lethargic.

When I arrived at her house, set my guitar down, I hugged yuhui, i think i did, then went over to look at its body.
So, so, so devastating to see it lay down there and stay motionless. I kept dwelling and then burst into tears. really uncontrollable. Most of BBI members drop by, cause we're free at that period of time, to send our regards to the Pang family. But we're all rather optimistic, that she left in peace and for a fresh beginning. =) Still after i left for my lessons, i still kept tearing. And upon seeing Yixin outside the music school, another real animal fannatic, i broke down again. LoL.. guess there are times, where i dont find a need to hide the weaker side of me. I must keep stressing, I'm no superhuman, I'm no Hercules. I'm all meat and emotions too.

Yuhui did describe to me how her little body convulsed, struggling to get her breaths in the last few seconds of her life. But I think, all in all, she really did went off in peace. I'll really still miss her for a long, long time. I still vividly have the images of her, lying next to/behind the black couch when BBI stayed over at hui's house either for open topic discussions, catching up with one another, or watching some films(exorcist! Johnny English!). I can see her lying in her lil' basket while we have out BBQ for celebrations, like yuhui's bday. LoL.. her ice-cream mango cake and shuzhen, me and shiqi's bloody mouth!!

Here, a tribute to Coco. This aint no full summary of her life, it's all done in what I could remember and what encounters i was put through. Yuhui would have done a better job herself. hui: This entry is not to stir up sadness in you, but to let you know, that BBI havent forgotten and will be with you and for each other for thus far and further.

oh yah, to other beans, I'm sorry that I like always stick closer to yuhui, and mention lesser about you guys, it's just a matter of time before i spill all the beans(pardon the pun), you all hold a strong place in my heart, truly.

============================
Your Life, My Life.

I'm sure most of you guys, at some point of time, wonder a lot about someone elses' life, eg. friends', celebrities'. It keeps you thinking: Why is it his/her life seems to have so much unheveals, happenings, fun, pain and sadness and so much activities. It sometimes gets you envious of another person's life. Not sure if u do get envious, but sometimes I do. I wished I had Leonardo da Vinci's mind, I wished i had the fortune of a rich asses like Tom Hanks.

And it's inevitable if u felt the above, that you will sometimes detest your own life, thinking: "why must I be put through all these sh*t and trials?" It makes u wonder why your life is so boring while others' seem to be so pack and filled with energy? This is most evident in some kids nowadays, as their blogs and msn nicks review their "displease-ness" about their own life, how they hate the people in their life, and how they wish they could die.

Well, the thing is, i realised, that we have all gotten used to our own life, to the extent of being bored and pointless, and instead find new things(others life) more interesting. It all started when I was thinking: If I was a director and i was to pick a stranger on the street to star as himself and the plot as his life, would it be interesting? My own answer was a simple no. But i was to make a story of two persons who has to swap lives with each other for 24 days, it would be extremely interesting.

Why?? It's still about two person's life, just led by different people. thing is, it's will be all new for the different person-s who are put to live another one's life, just like letting a toddler float in a swimming pool, fear, exciment and a whole new sense of interest envelops one.

Still, we need to distinguish fantasy and reality. It's kinda hard for one to swap life completely with another. Instead, we should look into our own life, find new challenges to take up, live each day to its best and let others fancy your own life. Make this a cycle. Appreciate your own life. The idea im presenting is quite abstract, but do ponder over it.

Let me keep my faith in innocent eyes.

till then; 21:43



==============================
Sperms vs 8
edited 04/03/05

Pretty much how my brains are functioning now, like that of sperms, unlike that of a typical eight pointer, working, moving aimlessly. As i'm struggling to do the tedious and 'boresome' maths, im dying. Basically, it's like the saying, "I integrate while i disintegrate". It's not that the maths questions are geniusly challenging, it's just that I'm not in the zone to commit a few hours, sit down and concentrate on my studies! I know, my personal matters shouldn't compromise my studies, more over im a eight pointer, but im only human, you just dont get that do you?


Due to my f*up-ed painted all over the eight pointer's face, it's not hard for people around me to realise im not the "me" they use to know. That's why recently my friends keep reckoning that the i'm upset. I've kent, lynn, yun jie, thomas, yuhui and several more coming up to me, and checking whether im sound, whether im back on Earth. Why didnt they suspect the martian, nicho, kidnapped and brainwashed me with some sadness? LoL. Just a no-link accusation, leave my martian friend alone! O.o

Even Wei Jian commented me as "out of the zone" or something or similar sense, how could i seem find to people close to me? Kent was the most there-for-me person, kept checking if I was fine, reaffirming that he was there for me to confide in, that the tide would be over soon and stood by my side. hmm, not that I dont wanna share, but maybe i already shared with you, just that you didnt picked it up? hahaha..! anyways, it's not that you didnt help me, u did. really. and, it's not that i dont wanna share the whole thing once through with ya. But I dont know what went wrong now too, everything just crashes, but dont worry, i'm never gonna give up, still supporting the debris and building up from there. Actually, still dont know what cause the collapse, how far the damage or whether there is a collapse at all. The police is still high on this case.

I really need support of my friends, meaning the eight pointer wishes to exploit you guys. It's times like these that my attention spans minimises, and my mind wanders off at every opportunities it finds. This caused me to lose lots of stuff because i left them behind. Jie sheng asked me after Tong and Thom kept my wallet from me after a lunch and i didnt realised whether I ever lost my wallet like that, my answer was a No. That's true, because i lose every other things besides the wallet. Lost my watch, water bottle etc barely into the year in JJ, when i was lingering in troubled waters. You must be thinking, what kind of clumsy eight pointer i am.

Oh, speaking of friends, think it's evident that the stress level is high in the class and many people are bending and reacting to the pressure. Some vent their anger on others, stucking a damn dagger into my heart and lacerate it across. I have my limit, but my limit will not break in front of u. and whatever shit u stuck in my face now, is "seh-ing" a base ball bat to the brittle bone, thinking it's still strong. neh neh pok. LOL.. Im trying very much not to curse. I mean, i understand u do have ur problems, but can u guys sometimes not say hurting stuff like when i reply to what you guys are discussing about and u stabbed the words of "Nobody's asking for your opinions what". Oh man, I think if respect needs to be earn. I think some people reckon i deserve none. To shit things further, some of them can have you like a clown and draw you like a drawing block belonging to some toddlers, but when u play a little trick on them, they erect a hell for u to reside it, with stares at u sending Infra-red messages, "Stop doing that, you childish boy. Get a life. Grow up. Your irritating." Oh man, I'm really going at it.

Im not an eight pointer that's underperforming. Expectations and demands are different things, okay? You keep wanting me to be the best, cause im an eight pointer. But let me tell you this, in my secondary school years, though I was known to good results, i was not prone to the you-should-always-top-the-class attitude.

NEVER.

Did you know that I failed maths and History when I was sec one? My friends wont come to me when they have questions. Understandable, since i cant provide myself with answers for "A-s", how could i provide any solutions for my friend. that's what spurred me up to do well: To prove to myself that I can do it. True enough, with some help, I got 8As out of 9 subjects by secondary two. Amazing feat, even to myself.

During my upper sec years, it was the challenges that Mdm Yaw and Mrs Goh that got me to strive higher. The first chemistry test that I took during secondary three was Naming of Chemical Compounds and its ions. I got 18.5/20. Though Mdm Yaw never saw me ever before my Sec three years, she has since had have high expectations of me. When I get a 50+/70 for a Chemistry paper two, her comments would be: You should be scoring 60 and above!. I was dumbfounded many times. A class test that I manage to get 15/20, her comments would be: "Good, but you should be getting 20/20." Hey, I was a A-star pupil in the eyes of teachers and i was a pile of shit to begin with. That did spur me a lot. But what really got me working hard for O' levels was Yuzheng, YiXin and lots of stress that I give myself. I wanna see how far I can go. 10 for prelims and my mother asked me whether I was satisfied, I replied, "No," then all she said was, then you work hard to get what you want loh. Retrieving the results of 8 for the O' levels, my mom revealed that she expected an 8 out of me, but didnt want to stress me or anything, so let me work at my max loh.

The eight points was an achievement on being at one of MY best forms, but not being THE best forms.

Relating to that point, I really like Bukit Batok Secondary School's Motto, Be Our Best. Note that it's not the emphasis to be THE best in everything that we do, but be at OUR best. Common sense you may think, but sometimes we tend to underestimate challenges and belittle them. =)

Now, in JJ, my emphasis have changed. I'm not pursuing academic excellence, I'm instead going for personality enrichement. Actually, my priority have never really been studies. But teachers, assuming they know me very well, scratch a mark high on the wall and expect me to jump past it completely all the time and stay there. The worst comment was "This is called underperforming. Many single digits come into JJ and scored ABB when they could have gotten AAA. While there are 12 - 16 pointers score 4 straight As. Why is this so? because some of us chose to be lazy. you better think about it."

If not for the respect, I would have used cheng's, nick's, tong's, thom's, kent's and my own combo hits to toot the toot out of toot toot toot toot toot. I have wanted very much to rebutt her arguments, but i find no point. For whatever you do, you dont satisfy everyone, and in the first place, I never said I was trying to please anyone. My aim is not class tests and tutorials, my short term aim is at A levels and further on, I have my own goals set and
I'll do MY best to reach them.

This is, however the very problem with the Dog Tamers and the 24 Chief Dogs are trying to be: The best. Not unattainable, but just impragmatic. There's no such need, just because u need a JJ identity and a JJ spirit. Dont force it out please, you guys're making yourselves look asinine.

I dont mind Thomas and gang kao peh me on my eight point's awe, in fact i like it, but not anyone else and especially if you're not so close to me yet. BBI, primary school friends, and anyone close man.

Maybe im over-reacting, especially during this period when my fuse is desperate short and the circuit box is dangerous flammable. So you'll not only shut me down, you see me enguff you in flames. I'm really controlling. I sound horrible. but i am actually. Friends will not get to see the ugly side of my unfold on them ever, unless they push me into a pile of shit, etc.

So much time wasted on regrets, and so little time spent on cherishs.
So much time spent on crying, and so little used on solving the problem.

I'm just an atypical eight pointers.

P.S. Dont treat me so nice on the coming Monday or in the future, because u see this entry. Should you do that, I might inevitably find you fake and leave u. Just be yourself. All of a sudden, I understand pei yin a little more.

till then; 00:11



Wednesday, March 01, 2006

==============================
Inspired. Love.


Inspired by wei lin's blogging style of Sevens Series(what i coined for her style), listing of 7's Loves, Hates, Choices, Irks, Im here to do my series.

my Fives, I chose five cause five seems perfetc to me, just like a pentacle making a ratio of the divine proportion of 1:1.618025 or what we known as PHI. well, if you do not know yet, much of the nature and your body(Joints) are made with respect to this number PHI. For instance, the distance of your head to your sole divide by that of your hips to the sole, you get PHI, so as your finger joints, spinal divisions and arm-to-fingertips:elbow-to-tips. These are just some little examples. In nature, this number is much respected as well. In a beehives as studies have shown: the female bees also outnumber the male bees. Taking the ratio of the number of males bees to female bees makes PHI. So are mammoth buildings constructed with this amazing number as the architectural dimentions, take for exmaple the famous pyramids in Egypt and the Greek Parthenon, United Nations Building in New York. Thus, the pentacle, which bears this PHI, in all its divisions was used to symbolise perfection and beauty.
My first theme is to be Love.
Top List

5 bLoved Moments with humans
1. Spending moments, precious or heartwrenching, with my girl and compromising.
2. Being with my friends, joking, laughing hysterically, sharing weals and woes.
3. Meeting new people and communicating effectively with them (my future job! Public Relations).
4. Watching and observing human behaviours.
5. Hugging and kissing my mother. ROFL, but true.

5 bLoved values in my relationships.
1. Love
2. Trust
3. Willingness to Compromise
4. Patience
5. Sense of Appreciation

5 bLoved values in man
1. Love
2. Sadness
3. Happiness
4. Delirious-ness
5. Emotions of nothing

5 bLoved hobbies
1. Sing
2. Comtemplate complexities and fathoming them.
3. Communicating with people (became a pastime)
4. Walk around! that includes orchard parading.
5. Dance

5 bLoved Friends
1. BBI
2. JJ05 S19 Dumbfags
3. Rabbit
4. SA05 O1G1 4
5. Apples

Sometimes, it is the constant feelings of extreme sadness and happiness that make us more human.
Sometimes, feeling nothing is everything.
Irony?
We call it life.

till then; 20:02



==============================
narcissism
pretty much self xplanatory
just got cable from kent, so i transferred my files to my dying com.
first through my bro's notebook, to the thumbdrive, then this ancient being.
God, i need to upgrade my com.



Look in the ears of the beholder.(anti-cliche)


Hey, doesnt look like me.


kboxing with peiyin and denise, my true pw group.


Studying with yuzheng one weekend.





eh, diversed, varied me.


having things my way.

till then; 19:43




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Wonderwoman YunJie
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June
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