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Unknown me.
hmm. constantly misunderstood, even i sometimes doubt myself. Man, it's hard being sociable. lol, im speaking like a Martian(no offence nick). It's been eighteen years of me, but friends i meet dont face all eighteen years with me, at the max is a.b. zhen with 13 years of care/concern/fun.
Hard to express some of my thoughts. Like when I really have no confidence in something, I couldn't express it to anyone. Take for example any class test, if i were to tell a classmate one day before the actual test that i havent found time to study, i would be dealt with with stares and "yeah, right"s and "bullsh*t"s. I cant actually blame them, cause hmm, they are not accustomed to how i study for a test and especially because of my O' levels result. Come on loh, the day i step into 05S19, i can literally hear whispers and murmurs of "that's the eight pointer". Sh*t man. That's a shot in the heart man. still i refuse to openly declare why i chose JJ, instead of my dream SAJC.
Examinations to me are a form of challenge issued from within me to me. and results are just self-reflections of whether i won or lost the challenges. Seriously speaking, though i look up to people who always perform well in exams, im my own biggest target. That's is why when I got 25/30 for a recent organic chem test, i was not all that woo-wah-wee. Yeah, no doubt it's a great score. but given the effort that i put in and the objective of the test to me, i expect a 28/30. Moreover, I hate making silly mistakes. I'm just ambitious, not swollen headed. But it's hard to tell that to anyone, cause hmm, my classmates hmm works differently from me. Nonetheless, JJ05S19 still rule my life man. It's like the coolest thing I've ever been in. With all the ShinShining, heeheeing, jumping freezer and kaopehing, there's just no end to coldness and fun.
So far right, i can relate to YXin my true feelings about some stuff. LoL.. I only dare to tell her how I truly think of the difficulty of the paper and how much i think I'll rule or suck at the paper. Reason being, we've spent some time studying together and hmm, sharing hints, chioning together at last minutes. she's my pillar at times man. =) oh yah, friends around me normally dont stay for very long de, she's one of the most lasting one, cause she's rather bo chap me at times. So sian lah, when I get high and crazy, she sians me. LoL.. but on days that she high with me, we'll go crazy; trust me. She's arh, rather homely, passive and cute. oh yah, she's a tu zi(rabbit). lol. People dont believe in platonic relationships nowadays, but whatever the crap lah..
and for pLi. that worrywart, fun, dependant, smart, talented, artistic and siao gal, hmm, been friends for some years, though there are intervals, which i do not wish to mention yet. She's so inconfident at times and doubtful of herself when it comes to decision making. I like to ask her for opinions, cause she give me true opinions and we got a 10point system for a lot of things. I'm her 10point leh.. lalalla, you guys wont understand de lah.
Loving all you guys always. (i mean it when i say always.)
I blog so gayly man. =)
but what's wrong with expressing my love for my friends? do you even dare to?
Try this and fathom me.
There's a danger in loving somebody too much, and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
till then;
12:02
