This 21 days, I've been thinking a lot.Thinking about nothing as well, it's not easy living out my dreams and to live in reality. It's one of those periods whereby I find expressing myself a job too hard to take on. That is why i didnt participate really actively in the debate held during one of the GP lessons. Cant speak well, stutter, cant even understand the situation, what can i voice out? LoL

It's been quite a while since I'm intimately in a real relationship. By right, I should feel a sense of loneliness, but instead I'm feeling a state of relieve. Maybe it's because I have no need to be held with so much responsibility for someone's emotional state and happiness. But then again, I seem to be harming quite a few around me in my daily life. I agree to what Tong said which i interpret as: being a nice guy hurt those around you twice as much as being a jerk.

I also understand that the more you dont want to hurt someone, the more that u hold back your true emotions, the more likely are you to hurt the other party. Oh well.. hmmm.. yah.. As you grow older, the world dims and complicates. Friendship is not about relationships between friends anymore. At least for most cases, it is so.

Hmm, what should I talk about next...? okay, there's the gang of crazees from S19: From JS to Yong Kian, eight of us altogether. (LoL.. lazy to list them down lah.. haha) Someone identified that although we are always together, there still exists sub groupings within the gang for the most obvious examples JS and Cheng tends to stick together like Willy and Kent does. hmm.. while some are more neglected, more solo. I dont know how to put it.

But for me, it's inevitable. The mentality of some individuals will be: Such a big group, so easily left out in jokes and activites, should i find someone to cling onto slightly more?

If u do get what i'm trying to say, ya.. hmm. I dont know what I can do to help as well. Im already starting to find it hard to hold my temper back and in addition, im bad with friendships. But the good thing is, not all is bad about the group. There are people who are starting to open up more, like nichk who starred in a movie clip in which the primary plot was devised by him. There's also yong kian who is getting sharper and more evil with his words. =).. But seriously, if we do not do something about it, we might end up as happy tree friends.(www.happytreefriends.com) all fun, no good ending. LoL.. What im saying is not that when X has a problem, he has to tell the whole gang. It's not easy for one to speak about his/her problems to such a big group. WHat I'm trying to bring across is that, we should remove the chasm and mix around more like one big group when we are hanging out. yah.

ps. I've remove all pop ups and alerts le bah, so if you're viewing pictures, you can click on them and return back to the Update page more easily. Do click on the pictures hor, cause it's really unclear in their current state.

Unleash the heal of the Arena.

till then; 21:08