I feel so blessed to be alive. It's Valentine's yo peepleo(with the black accent, No not ascend shuzhen!)! Anyways, I dont know what it is but SOME people just die on this day. They get so emotional and so desperate much like the vigilantes i meet in the game Renewal, so dead and tearful.
They get depressed over shut-the-hell-up things like being without dates on V-day, being unattached and stuff. aiyo, so loveydovey, be realistic, Valentine's day is more than that.
Haiyo, frankly speaking I have been unattached for all my 19 years during Valentine's day. And still it's very happy for me every year! During schooling era, in S19 and Secondary times, friends hand out handmade gifts to everyone they think should be loved. This is a festival of Love, Love of all forms.
Take the day to tell your mum you love her, wish your siblings well for today! Tell your friends you love them! Dont be shy. Dont wait till it's too late. =) I love you yunjiecrazytoserve ,kentypanty, cheng-raye-gay ,denisemadwomansimin, huidabianting, J-botak-S, Uglyface-pokemon, Tongmuscleheadloong, Teckprimaryschoolkidoon, Aliciayinyantwins, Jinyi, nickynacky, Sussanlaughatpooruglypeoplemariam, PANGcrazy4wjyuhui, itchyneversleepatnight547, Eileenhahamot, Sereneangrymanager, lesterbonkerprawnsoh, yipopandmusicxin, juneywithacrazyguitardaughtertay, jacqmadhouse, calistasimbosoh, keljackassvin, andrewlaughinglikenuts, KenalwaysmybuddyHo, cherchuan, shaoyong, ,justingounucaiJJ, peibignehnehli, mauiauntieandhusband, my Papa, my mama, my sister my korkor and all those poor souls that the lousy me failed to name, not because u are not important. but i am lazy. =P
I am happy every valentine's, to know im blessed with love from my dear friends and family. Be blessed, my haters, for today is a day for love. Yeah, i'm heading out to Settle's Cafe.. YEAH!! hahahs.. bye peeps.
Love is in the air! I love ya'll.
till then;
15:38
-[ Only 49 and it's so great!]-
I didnt know at the age of 49, The Grammies could be so Wowowowowow! I don't know what to expect at the 50th ceremony? Probably it would really take my breathe. =P.
Anyway, I'm posting up some of the more popular and really showstopping acts.
Shakira ft. Wclef- Hips Don't Lie =Need I say more? Although I would say, as I always do, that this song lacks climax and gets mundane with the repeating-and-repeating chorus, it is a perfect song for live performance and she will SHOW you why? It's really, really showstopping!
Justin Timberlake with the best song he has ever written(which he claims and many agreed)- What goes around... (comes around) =It's really a great song, vocally and emotionally touching. But it really wrecks many minds to think whether he is playing the piano that night.? Oh well, the song is too overwhelming for asses to care.
Beyonce- Listen =A soundtrack taken off her soon-to-be hit movie, Dreamgirls. Haunting lyrics and beyonce did a technically wonderful job as many would agree. But fans of beyonce would have to agree that it is not a great performance. She sounded tired, prolly she's really sick and the end was really a bloop. =X Still, it's a great song and worth a watch.
In this IT dominated era, Grammys has or have been moving with time! The mamanagent held a online competition/poll for viewers to send in auditions and have their Grammy moment. And boy, you can hear Robyn Troup sing like a pro. She can command the stage! Well, though I do reckon she has to work on her facial expression-s. A bit dead. Esp in the "auditions"
Christina Aguilera- It's a Man's,Man's, Man's world. You know it amazes how some people STILL fail to realise what a diva is. It's about embracing your strengths and yet not conceal your flaws. It's about a woman who's not afraid to stand up for herself. It's about honouring womanhood. Some think Christina overdoes it and yell into the mic unneccessary. Face the fact. This is her, and she will blow you out. -)
Well that's about it. Didnt post up Carrie Underwood's performance, because i think it still lack something. hmms. Anyway, really spend 30 minutes of your time and look at the videos, after Life's short. Enjoy music!
till then;
13:28
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
I cannot believe my eyes.
I'm so dead.
Am I really seeing my fate?
Singapore-Cambridge A Levels Examination
Name: Beh xxx xxxx Willy
NRIC:S88XXX70C
-----------------------------
General Paper D7
Mathematics C
Physics E
Chemistry D
Chinese E8
----------------------------
How? Even if I want to graze the grass and share the pasture(s) with the cow, they would laugh their udders off at my stupidity. I cannot go anywhere! No universities would accept me for the janitor's position even.
SO DEAD!
Mama said it's alright I've given my best and that I shouldn't brood over it. Come next week I'll be working as a office boy and thats going to be the case for sometime, i guess. No future!
Nothing! Nothing! 14 years of education and I've wasted it all. =)
I bet you cant imagine the drowning amount of sweat I bore just dreaming of this. What a nightmare! The only reason why I woke up is because i check the results again and saw the E8 for Chinese. Thank goodness I've gotten my Chinese paper's results. If not, I think I'll still be stuck in that crazy dream. I was sweating like hell.
Nothing can be worse than embracing a night's rest with a nightmare. Unless I have two more in the 9hours I laid in my bed, two third of the time spent sweating and worrying. I think I worked my brain too hard thinking of crazy stuff.
The second dream was actually about the End of the World. And practically it was the end. It was hell breaking lose. There was no balance in the environment. Venomous snakes roamed the cities and fear enguffed everyone. I was running through the streets with someone(I dont know who), for what reasons i dont know. But we were like the prey for the hunger-driven vipers. Striking at every opportunity, and then "recoiling" themselves and preparing to spring and sink their fangs into both of us. The only reason it was freaking nerve-wrecking is because I had a very hard time dodging them, and they keep coming from all over.
Bet if Huitin were in my shoes, she would have slashed her own throat. LoL. Maybe I'm watching too much tv, in particular wildlife documentaries like Jeff Corwin's Unleashed. Gee.. I have a boring life! Oh well, I was once again shocked to awareness thanks to my 6.00am alarm. I have this daily bet with PeiLi to see who will wake up first.
I lost this time.
The time was 6.22am when my eyes were ajar and she has already sent her winning message claiming victory.
"abracadabra"
*chants chants* How I wish I have some magic to make her late for school. =D Obviously I dropped back to slumber land after some cursing. But the thing is, this time I'm teleported to ancient China. Where emporers pit their armies against each other and concubine thrives to win(Too much Channel U drama!! but I swear I havent watch that show for about a week already, dont know why still dreaming of it).
What's so "gothika" was that I was actually from the future. And I'm in the era where the infamous(no, not pido) Emperor Qin rule his evil empire.Apparently I told him his throne will not always be in his hands, and at the same time in my hands was a book of Ancient China history. Being such a authoratative person, he wanted to know of his becoming. Since they couldn't read modern Chinese characters, they have to keep me alive as a translator. I was sort of an advisor, I guess. Fightings along the outskirts were not uncommon and I was deemed to be the person with the answers. Tensed and pushed up to the war, I could not complain but comply.
I finally woke up due to extreme distress i think. hahas. What a crazy night.
This is one of the reason why I am so afraid of my sub conscious. Everytime it takes over, mad things happen and I dont mean dreams only. Someone could seriously get hurt someday(I'm not mentally ill, dont worry.). My subconscious is my heart, my conscious is my mind. One's evil, the other's morally upright. Which is which?
Make a guess.
P.S. Happy Valentine's Day in Advanced to Jake Beh Jun Ming or is it 8?. LoL. I'm just afraid you will be too busy to read anything here on the actual day. Maybe I'll be too busy that day too. LAM(Laugh At Myself)!
till then;
00:01
Friday, February 02, 2007
Give me a little more time. I'll be back with more. I was really worn out. I think I'm getting my strength back. I'm proposing two more weeks and after Chinese New Year.
till then;
21:49
Monday, November 27, 2006
-[ pink of health ]-
Exams crawled to an end finally and my health is picking up. Guess what, I go to bed much much earlier(11-1am) than in the past(3-5am)! Wakes up early in the morning having the feeling of the natural cool breeze on your face makes my day already.
In the past when I wake up in the afternoon, I've the stupid instinct as if I've wasted half of the day, some psychology obstacle I assume. And right now, I cant sleep past 8hours on average, seems very great to me!
Right now waiting for job, waiting for red to be ready to club, waiting for physical wounds heal! =D Very busy very busy!
till then;
10:42
Thursday, November 23, 2006
-[ Prelude ]-
I'm feeling the energy within me, waiting to be unleash.
But darling, Let me hug you.
I cant even recognise myself, is this me?
Preview of the metamorphorsis?
Pig out!
NiokNiok!
till then;
22:04
-[ New Direction ]-
Was rather aimless when I just finished A's. Now, I'm going crazy with so many tasks to complete. Aiming to attain my motorcycle licence by December which is why I'm packing the lessons very close to each other right now, while my motorcar first Basic Theory Test takes place in January on the 8th.
Tomorrow my hair will be undergoing revamp. Hope things go well, it'd better be so! If not the stylist is going to die for her crime. I must make sure things are right first before I let her touch it.
WorkWork, Dad has been trying to rope me in to work for him, $60/day, but I'm too interested. Looking for sales job. Preferably clothing sales, or cashier for food chain! Wee~ Hopefully I'll start work by January.
Prom will be near the end of December. Not really in the mood to shop for the attire yet. Want something me, something special. Hope I can do it. =)
I bless me.
till then;
21:24
-[One]-
perfetcLite.blogspot is one!(whispers: who cares anyway? no one view your blog anyway)
hmm? I thought I heard some sniggerings. LoL
Oh well, one full year of blogging, though not daily updates like some freaks who refer blogging as a job. And unlike desperados who enjoy the glamour and honour of having netizens view their blog, erms, I'm just very happy to have a place to store my memories. I dont wanna die, remembering nothing.
It's so weird to blog out your emotions out "on" the "public", even more so when you arent truly anon. That's why when you read other's blogs, most of the time, the entries are filled with angst and teenage rebellion(though some are really not teenagers already, they just wanna remain childish and they shall remain anon).
Rarely would you read of someone really covering all of their emotions in their entries. hmm.. the kind of blogging i still hate most is: I wokee uup today, veriie tiireed nnor. Then I weent too schooool, noothiing happeeened. aiyaa, veriie tiireed le, goodniight. Must tagg me hor!
**** yourself. LoL. Dont ask me why I'm doing all the bitching about others, just wanna shout out. wee~
No surprise sometimes I think whether anyone even read my blog, because the counter has always been rather faulty(registering all visits when it should register only unique visitors), and the tag board has been dead. Then again, I tell myself that even if only one person reads it, and it changed him, it's worth it. I do not have the strength to influence the world like some famous bloggers or celebrities are. But if I can help just one, I'm already very glad.
Blogging is fun. I dont like to explain things, so things i blog here often seems weird and most wouldnt understand what the toot I'm actually referring to. What I would say to you is, dont take the direct approach too serious. Comprehend what I'm trying to say generally, it may not apply to you, but you might learn something new, or something about me. =)
Happy Birthday, perfetcLite.blogspot
Arms wide open, words unspoken, the rest is still unwritten.
Write me.
till then;
21:08
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
-[ Post-Exams Blues ]-
It s***s when you finished your exams and you are left hanging in the air, when you cant work right now because of your travel plans, when you were so frantically squeezing in the last bit of whatever subject you were studying into your brain prior to the paper, when you have all the time but too many things you wanna accomplished that you end up doing none. Living a day at a time.
Then again, with all the time in the world currently, I tend to think more, maybe too much. Probably to the point that I became unsatisfied with many things, that I realised things should not be this way.
It's hard, when things became a habit and you finally realised you can't take it. I can change myself, but I changed others.
Ever since secondary school days, I've been put through quite a lot till I accepted change as a continual progression of my body and soul. But then I realised that most people around me dont like changes, prefers constants. That's when clashes arise, and to me, I dont like quarrels, so I would most of the time choose to compromise. Without doubt, as time passes, I realised I've lost myself(cliche, ya blah blah) and I dont know what I'm doing.
But I gotta say there's a limit.
I've gotta be me.
till then;
01:17
Sunday, November 19, 2006
-[Hmms]-
Examinations have finally come to a permernant halt. The only difference from when I finished the last paper two years back when I was sitting for the GCE 'O' Levels, was that i wasn't feeling the uncontrolled happiness and relief from all the stress and restrains.
There probably are some reasons to explain this phenomenon that many of my peers have experienced.
Simply/Firstly, back then, even if were to do badly, we know we have the Polytechnics to fall back on no matter what. But right now, it's a band-wagon jumping competition and to make it, you have to jump from this one that you are currently on(Junior College), to the destined one(University for most). It's not easy and if you fail, goodbye. Especially when our batch of students was from the year of large scale baby boom(52000 babies were born in Singapore in 1988). That would mean a larger number of students are in JCs and therefore, more stiff competition for the little space the University has to offer.
Either you retake the exams A YEAR LATER, or register to another institution which means it will take another couple of years again.
Sad to say, we wouldnt get to know how well we really do and what we eventually get in our results slip are relative to how other students across the island had performed in the same GCE 'A' level paper. With all the discrimination of studying ability casted by the authorities, public and the schools, it's hard(not impossible, i must clarify) for neighbourhood schools' students to stand up against "Top-notched" Junior Colleges' students. And the likes of Wee Shu Min, who are well-fed and well-groomed might view my blog(my honour? LoL) and start another round of criticism and backfiring, with the former laughing head over heels our my kitty-kat language skills and my inability to help myself. Oh well, I'm no RJ student, I should just sit and cry. LoL.
An equal platform of competition for everyone? I doubt so. Everyone is different, but we choose to judge them the same way. How good is that a gauge of our abilities and talents?
If you fail a math paper, does it make you lousy in math untimately if you can figure out a sudoku quiz in merely ten minutes?
No doubt the government has saw the shortcoming of the system, but the only question is, does it mean the people who already failed the system = sacrificial items?
How are we supposed to find the standing ground to establish our fighting ground if we do not have cash-flow like that of a never-ending river(Zheng Hu Lao Peh)?
Is being good in academic equivalent to our strengths in life?
Are our test scores reflective of our character? I think not.
Are they playing fields large enough to accomodate other sorts of talents and skills in Singapore?
Look at America, their students dont reflect the best in International Math and Science quizzes, but they are one of the best in innovations and enterprise? They aren't the ones who spoke perfect English too. Does it really matter? Singapore English very very bad meh? So, why not just ban diaglects from being spoken? LOL NO WE CANT, some people dont want riots and shaken their lightning roots.
Currently,
Elites = Academic scores or rich dad's son.
Income = everything.
We people so far down, are rejects. Wow, a few millions rejects with a small proportion in the "mainstream". I wonder what i should be wondering.
Wow.
hmmms
I will still dye my hair, find a job, go crazy and live my life to the fullest somehow before my army days. Hopefully, I dont die in army, another place filled with discrimitnation, now against physciall abilities.
Till I get myresults.
till then;
23:56
Friday, November 10, 2006
[ countdown: 7days ]
destination: A new beginning.
implication: None
till then;
17:39
-[Get cha sexy out! ]-
till then;
17:37
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
LAUGH!!!! REALLY
till then;
01:10
-[ Fibrill of Memories]-
What's up with memories?
Do they give you strength?
If you think they do, they dont. If you think they dont, you're right, they don't. duh
Make no mistakes, draw no more power from them.
Kim Sun Ah said in her role as Kim Samsoon to "stop thinking memories has any power at all. Memories are plainly for reminiscence." When I first heard it, I was so ready to rebuke all of what was said. Taking a few more moments to run the past moments at the back of my head, I came to realised that she, or probably the script writer, is actually right. Although you might still have love for that person from your past relationships, things WILL never work out again as lovers. Anger simmers to a nostalgic scar that hurts like a healing wound. Indulging in past successes lets you sink into a comfort zone heading for hell(quote: LFY).
But I will never choose to hide any of my memories for good. I like memories, happy or sad, exciting or boring. It lets me know, and makes me grow. It makes me feel the pain of yesterday, and prevents the grand fall from ocurring a.much.a.p. However, I'll keep telling myself to never let it get the better of me. It's not easy, but i have to try.
=)
To be frank, I actually prefer sad memories than jovial-er ones. I'm pessimistic about the past, optimistic about the future and unsure of now.
Unveil the future. Understand the present. Change your past.
Trirony.
till then;
00:30
Monday, October 23, 2006
-[ nostalgia ]-
[oh sh*t] I just wanna drown in sex and excitement.
[oh sh*t] Shh, you know hear me.
[oh sh*t] Stop the talking, let's get moving.
[oh boy] Check out your back, yeah watch my tail.
[oh you] Before you know it, we'll be over.
till then;
22:58
Sunday, October 01, 2006
ººLoveandRelationshipºº
Don is right, I dont know lots of sh*t. "I'm a trendy geek whose making the best out of everything bad because I cant choose." Just one thing to tell Don: You are still young too, dont be too absolute.
I dont know everything, i dont think you do. At least, I know.
I'm here to make a little distinction: With love comes relationship. Yeah, They're undeniably intertwined and inseparable. But some people just try to have one of them unknowningly, relationship.
True Love is everything, including the aspect relationship. The form that has true mutual concern, true feelings involved.
True Relationship is more a cultivated achievement in a love. Where two has true mutual understanding, are without ego, with compromise, is sacrificial and non-conditional, of true maturity, and even the sacred sex. I dont mean these characteristics exist all time, they may seem to fade off, there can be quarrels and disputes, but they will prevail.
Dont try to put a time frame or sequence to love and relationship, they happen indefinitely and freely.
Nonetheless, there are people that ignorant to be oblivion to all these and be stubborn still. Today, in Singapore, most relationships are an "a" away from realtionship. It's just not real. Casting doubts onto the one you "love", holding onto your ego, refusing to lift the stern on your face, on and on. This is not love. This is not even relationship. Such terms are often misused by teens, like the terms: Friends, mature, sorry. "I love you" to some is just eight letters with two spaces in between. How insulting and hurting and devastating and agitating. No! It is all of me when I mean really, really mean it. Love is not only about the two person involved, it is not only about you, it is not only about him/her. It's about everyone you come into contact with. Dont jump into a "relationship" when you arent ready, when you dont love him/her truthfully, when you still think yo'u are the more important. Dont fall in "love" if all you want is to receive concern and care from the other party. Dont fall in "love" if all you want is sex. Be responsible, as a human enough who doesnt one to hurt the other party. You dont have to understand love first, you have to be ready.
till then;
18:10
PeiLi's Shuaiges
yeah, peili likes gays. =)
till then;
17:20
Beautiful Music -reminds me why I am alive.
Hurt: Feel the gist of all of mine.
Moulin Rouge: Moulin Huge to be exact, with Mayo and Big Kim and plus plus. LOL
Deja Vu: Release the sensual fun and the sexual fun.
Ring the alarm: Sound the siren of truth and goodbyes.
till then;
16:36
Saturday, August 26, 2006
-[ Great Love, Great Speed, Bad Ending ]-
Should love be fast, furious and hot or should it be slow, steady and constant?
I wonder. I think about how some people could have such intensed love and still be sad while some has a simple love and still be sad too. Then again, such questions reap no reward because they are too many other contributing factors that I cant possibly cover everyone of them.
I wonder how some people "get over" a lost love in three days while some people takes months or even years to get use to the pain(note: get use to, not recover.). When i said "get over", i mean getting involved in a new relationship. For me, a new relationship is no substitute, and i dont wish to hurt anyone. If I wanna be with someone, it would meant that i want to commit and treasure.
But I just cant seem to understand why some people can be in "love" so soon again.
One thing I'm rather sure of: Happy people on stage arent happy.
till then;
15:01
-[ One word : Hot]-
till then;
14:56
Saturday, August 19, 2006
-[great time of the year]-
My pc is down, my dsl modem bid farewell to me. I'm isolated from the world. I'm alone.
Then again, this is the best time for the internet to break down. The exams are coming and i'm very prone to keep it online while i'm "doing my work". Okay apparently i'm not focusing at all.
The exams are drawing so near, i feel the tremendous stress. ...
jia you.
Anyway, some people have come up to me and asked some bizarre questions, "eh, you broke up arh?'' Sounds strange to me too, i guess my entries are too misleading. Well basically, instead of venting my anger on someone and hurting him/her/them, i choose to vent in out on "anonmylous" and i could end up feeling alright without someone down. =)
The sad stuff online, just enjoy the poetry or ignore this blog. =)
till then;
14:25
Monday, August 14, 2006
-[thanks ]-
Today Nicholas presented me a miracle and keith bestowed me assistance.
I wanna thank the both of them.
till then;
20:24
-[ Exhausted ]-
You gotta respect me. You gotta understand me.
I am no one else. Treat me like a decent love.
I've got emotions, and my limits. You arent suppose to be wielding knives, stabbing them one by one and slowly into the depths of weakness.
The delusions of fault confuses and exhausts me. Told you once too many times, distinctions arent important but baby, ooo I feel underappreciated. I'm just one poor soul, holding on to a little faith. Hold it on for me.
For I fear my soul is weak, and the wound is deep. The hand's getting loose because I lost too much life fluid.
Too many priorities, you gotta made a decision whether u want me at all.
It isnt fair.
No, not to me.
Hold on to me, or let me know you are letting go. =
I thought love was selfish,
I didnt know it was selfish towards each other.
Something simple complicates.
I cry.
till then;
00:00
Thursday, August 10, 2006
-[I got trouble]-
I've got trouble, trouble, trouble Always knockin' at my door Yes, I'm a whole lot of touble, baby Just like a kid in a candy store Well, I'm nothing but trouble, babe Now since the day that I was born Well, I'm as good as it ever gets Give you something you won't forget If you wanna spell trouble, babe Well, send out an S.O.S
'Cause baby's got something, Something you just can't ignore And yeah, it sure is likely, babe You'll keep on comin' back for more
I've got a wicked taste for trouble And I'm never, never, satisfied Yeah, I'm a whole lot of trouble, baby And my evil ways can't hide
Oh, my my
Well, I've been itching for some trouble, babe Every single day that I'm alive Come on baby, come on darling Come on sugar, ooh, yeah yeah Hey, woo, whoa, said Now listen
Can't you see the way I move Can't you read it in my hips There's a lot that's going on In my pocket full of tricks Got some secrets up my sleeve If you know just what I mean Got places you've never been Take you out of your skin
Well I'm trouble, trouble, trouble, baby Always knocking at my door, yeah Yeah, a whole lotta, lotta touble, babe Ooh, since the day that I was born Yeah, oh yeah
till then;
01:49
-[ArticDesert ]-
Yup, It's so hot, I feel so cold.
What's this feeling inside me, thats rampaging yet misleading.
Having only my boxers on because the humidity's getting on me. Slipped on my jacket, because the cool of the air condition is freezing me. Zipped up, then zipped down cause I began sweating.
Oh how much a paradox, how much my life.
till then;
01:12
-[definitely not in the best of moods]- Im not smiling.
I dont want a quarrel, so i kept my piece.
Just a little afraid, cause the sky's really bleak.
till then;
00:24
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
-[ Ouchs ]-
Yes it hurts, and badly.
I thought it was recovering, but it deterioated.
I started having persistent backaches since around March last year, resorted to Panadol Extend to curb the pain because i thought i merely had insufficient rest and stayed up too late too often. But i stop taking after a few weeks, dont like dependency on medicine.
Gradually, the pain didnt seemed to be affecting me, or maybe I already got used to the pain. I also started realising I couldnt stand/walk for long hours (shopping), I dismissed the thought of any serious implications as I believed I was just tired. Peili, remember I always say I needed to sit down cause my legs are aching?
and it's always my right leg. Started noticing the pain more evidently this year (this two months) when I wake up, sit down, stand up, lie down with sore muscles in my right leg. Kept complaining to the people around me and getting very frustrated.
Finally went to ask my father for help, he knew a thing or two about the body and how blood vessels meander around your body and remedies to cure. He told me the condition was rather severe and I probably fell down or got hit at my lower right side of back. The above image was taken after one of the treatment I went through.
I was starting to feel better already but somehow the pain started intensifying this week. I feel the pain on both my shoulders, upper left of my back, lower back and whole of my right leg. So much so that I couldnt concentrate on studies. Panadol extend again!!
The price, I cant get myself to sleep. Must squeeze some time to see a doctor...
A levels are coming, please not now
till then;
14:48
Sunday, August 06, 2006
-[ BBI ]-
Somehow BBI.loveyou reads like "baby I love you", and that is reflectory of my inner voice.
I love BBI. =D
Had a bbq last night around Serene's house, the venuw which is like within a few hundren metres from my house. The purpose was to celebrate Serene(6Aug) and Shuzhen(7Aug) turning 18. It's been long since all of us can make it, all of BBI original members. Of course not to forget, Louie-ssss and Wendy and JJ. Of which it's the second im meeting Wendy since 2001, didnt had too good an impression bad then(two evil mouths at loggerhead then.) It's all changed now, she's a str8-forward person who is kind at heart and generous in giving. =D
It was not all fun, fun, fun during the BBQ, we had our share of emotional moments. Shalln't elaborate, most prob my fault. The round table talk after the sparkling juice was the most entertaining, where we spill out our past "sins" and other experiences(Customer Service!). =) Anyway. attempting to send everyone home was the most fun part of everything, it seemed we werent too keen to part.
Pranwnster was afraid to go home alone! We asked him to board the last 143, then he goes on to ask if other buses, "cannot take meh?". LOL, then i said, "If you see other buses, better~~ dont~~ take~~ hor~~~. If the driver smiles at you, jump off the bus hor~~." Then he started attempting to walk to the busstop and then turned back to rush us to go home, so that we could send him off. LoL.
>>(ffw)
-[ ShiQi ]-.
Shiqi, abZhen and I proceed to send off wendy, while Jieying deals with the other group at her house. Afterwhich, the three of us walked abZ home. It was most enjoyable, being able to talk without having any need to put on a facade. When she's home safely, I took a walk with SQ back home. We live like 100m apart?, meaning he's more or less at my window if not for the trees, you want a much clearer picture.
Starting talking about the past: the old neighbourhood, our time together and the old friends. Okay, we were pretty much interested in science since young and there were many, many Pong Pong trees (know that they are about 4-6 stories tall each)in our neighbourhood. Apparently we tried to pollinate the flowers of Pong Pong. No we didnt climb the tress and rub the pollens grains onto the stigma(Plant sex, if you dont know what we're doing).
Basically, We picked up flowers freshly fallen from the trees and used twigs or tweezers to rub the pollens onto the t the stigma. If you dont know how stupid is that, it's like making the fish on your dinner table swim. I dont know what we did with the "fertilised" flowers(whether we brought it home to wait for the Pong Pong fruits to be bore or whether we planted the flowers in the soil again. hahas!!!), but I think watching the dead flowers die is quite a sad sight and would be devastating to the young hearts. =D.
Oh well, still remember those times whether he, Weibin and I used to cycle all around the neighbourhood. Things have changed. =) Still remember those little Science booklets(my elder bro's) I used to read and lend shiqi to read and then the two of us will do experiments like playing with batteries, metal objects and wires at attempts to light the bulb.
Those were the times Willy was still ignorant and niave, but having the purest enjoyment. =)
*Skips the sad stuff*
till then;
11:25
Monday, July 31, 2006
-[ I fear 14 out of the 66 things in the list ]- Think most of them I just need a little more time in adjusting to adapt to it. -)
[x] the dark (The unseen cause fear during anticipation) [ ] staying single [ ] getting married [ ] being a parent [x] giving birth (Guy giving birth is scary still) [ ] being myself in front of others [ ] open spaces [ ] closed spaces [ ] heights [ ] cats [ ] dogs [ ] birds [ ]spiders and/or other insects [ ] driving or being in cars [ ] flying [ ] being put to sleep (anesthesia) [ ] flowers or other plants [ ] being touched [ ] fire [x] water (Some inherent fear) [ ] the ocean [ ] pools [ ] failure [ ] success [ ] germs [ ] thunder/lightning [ ] frogs/toads [ ] mice/rats [ ] jumping from high places [ ] snow [ ] rain [ ] wind [x] cemeteries (I mean, no one really likes the spookiness you face there right?) [ ] clowns [ ] large crowds [ ] demons or evil [ ] crossing bridges [ ] death [x] Hell (Erm. Duh) [ ] Heaven [x] being robbed (Erm.. DUH) [x] being sexually assulted (Assulted dont get rape can le. Guy-raped. Yah, you get the drift.) [ ] men [ ] women [ ] having great responsibility [ ] doctors, including dentists [x] tornadoes (Like them only from far) [x] hurricanes (Like them only from far) [x] being punished ( I'll love this unless I'm into S&M like my cousin? LOL) [x] diseases, including cancer and STD's (DUH) [ ] snakes [ ] sharks [ ] dinosaurs [ ] Friday the 13th [ ] poverty [x] ghosts [ ] Halloween [ ] school [ ] trains or railroads [x] fear (I fear FEAR, sounds cool hor.) [ ] being alone [ ] losing my friends [ ] being blind to things [x] being deaf (Cant live without listening to beautiful voices talking, singing to me.) [ ] growing up [ ] being murdered in my sleep (Just dont let me feel the pain, can le loh)
till then;
21:13
-[ Double-U-Hedge, Double-U-Hedge-Wai-Wai ]-
Why WhyWhy.
Lalalalalla~ =)
Having a total assortment of thoughts man, but at least my mood's been settled and i've sorted out my emotions much better le. Still my fuse is still rather short. =) Sorry for those who have to put up with my tantrums, it wasn't something I would have wished for and I'm certainly trying to better cope with mood fluctuations. =D
Let me spend a little more time on this entry. ( Recently the posts may seemed much shorter and radical than in the past but it's because erm, there are dirty little secrets that you hide in your life but I choose to bring it up to a platform where more or rather concerned party can get to be informed of how I'm appreciating the situations.)
I know I have to depend more on myself now. It's not something bad actually. Everyone's different, so we cant expect every relationship to be the same. This period I would like to thank some people who are still in my life helping me, even in the very small ways: 05S19(YJ, Mitches-Kent), Dae ma, Deric, HH and many more whom I failed to name here. =) You may not know that by just being a friend, you are helping me a lot.
Anyway last Saturday, I went to town with Yong Kian and Kent. Ehs, nothing much to do, so just walked around. We ended up taking tours in supermarts at the basement of Paragon and Ngee Ang City.Goumet Hunt!! Did saw quite a spread of delicious food items and beverage, but I never bought anything, cause it still feels slightly weird to be carrying grocery from town to home?
Oh, there was a Wine "road show" in Paragon's basement, then the friendly salesaunts started pouring us generous amount of wine. Woot! We drank and got drunk, okay we didnt. Kent bought a bottle of sparkling wine, and one of the aunt gave us a sample bottle, say business not good, then ask the three of us go finish it up. LOL. How cool~!
Oh did I mention, we stole and ate very expensive and tasty champangne Grapes, that costs more than50cents per grape!!! Very ex. Then so happens that it's very easy to do steal a bite, hehehehe, being little devils as we are... It was quite refreshing, really good grapes. =)
hmm.. I wont let the negativity sink in, at least for you. I must stay strong. I must be strong willed for my studies. I'm very happy that the syllabus is finally over! Can focus on revisions and not homework. Yeah!! ( Yup, there are actually silly people who are so happy when exams are reeling in fast.)
Life is good, I still believe.
Friend proves my point. =)
till then;
20:42
-[ Fullstop. ]-
Every finger in the room is pointing at me I wanna spit in their faces Then I get afraid what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now.
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets I've been raising up my hands Drive another nail in Just what God needs One more victim
Why do we crucify ourselves Every day I crucify myself And nothing I do is good enough for you Crucify myself Every day I crucify myself And my heart is sick of being in chains
Got a kick for a dog beggin' for love I gotta have my suffering So that I can have my cross I know a cat named Easter He says will you ever learn You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets I've been raising up my hands Drive another nail in Got enough guilt to start My own religion
Why do we crucify ourselves Every day I crucify myself And nothing I do is good enough for you Crucify myself
Every day I crucify myself And my heart is sick of being in chains
Please be Save me I cry
Where are those angels When you need them
Why do we crucify ourselves Every day I crucify myself And nothing I do is good enough for you Crucify myself
Every day I crucify myself And my heart is sick of being in chains
Why do we ... ... chains ... Crucify ourselves Everyday
Never going back again Crucify myself again
You know
Never going back again to Crucify myself Everyday
Today
I crucify myself.
till then;
01:44
Sunday, July 30, 2006
erm.
below are disorganised organisation of thoughts.
Dont dwell too much, baby.
Need to kill someone, why not my blog?
till then;
21:21
-[ Deep Within ]-
I would let love lead the way, if not for my own instincts. Something is wrong, and I know you are running away.
From me, because you are running like an angel away from the devils behind her constantly.
Oh there's a slight difference between love and relationship. I dont need the distinction made clear, I just wished for you to realised it.
If I've done you wrong, I should feel guilty. But it's not me. If I've hurt you, I am really sorry. I dont mean it.
But there are some things in myself, that's radiating seriously from deep within.
I only know I love you. And hope you face yourself.
Nice song hor!!
till then;
21:02
-[ Making someone happy ]-
Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy Shi Qi 547 Itchy
till then;
20:58
-[ Just you ]-
Just the thought of being close to you.
Its incomparable.
I should be happy with the life I live,
And the things I do, seems like I have it all.
Can't make you, make you love me baby.
It's my life, what can I do?
Can't make you love me,
I'm just a boy with a crush on you.
-Can't make you love me: BJS
I dont need mountains of gold,
I dont need a million years.
You know what I need.
I dont need apologies,
if you cant hold my hand.
I dont want words,
if meaning it is not your style.
I'm sad,
I'm not rejected.
I'm just dejected.
I'm just dwelling in the lies you made to yourself.
till then;
20:49
-[Updates ]-
Sorry for the lack of regular postings despites some of your reminders, peeps. =X
Was caught up with some mentally bogging stuff. =)
Updates would be still be less frequent, I reckon.
Study pace gotta pick up and I gotta study harder.
Lesser time for everything else, lesser focus for everything else.
I'm feeling the energy within me, waiting to be unleash. 
I cant even recognise myself, is this me?
Pig out! .jpg)
NiokNiok!.jpg)
